Marriageable Age
by Alison Gross
Summary: Peach experiences growing pains.  In the midst of all her normal duties, kidnappings, and other activities, she must find the time to understand the changes inside her and what they mean.  A bit melancholy but still basically light-hearted.
1. Snow in Spring

Spring had come to the Mushroom Kingdom once again and the annual festival to celebrate the first flowering of the bubulbs was in full swing, with picnic tables set up all around the castle grounds for guests to enjoy a grand feast while they admired the new greenery. Colorful banners hung from the gates and towers and exquisite kites, shaped like mushrooms, stars, and fire flowers, swooped and soared through the air, manipulated by some of the Mushroom Kingdom's most skillful young kite fliers. On the main lawn, a croquet game had been set up, with Toadett, E. Gadd, and several of the Mushroom Retainers challenging Toadsworth for his title of croquet master, though it had taken some time to convince E. Gadd that it was not permissible for hm to use his new super scope, rocket powered croquet mallet. Meanwhile, on the tennis courts, those who preferred more active sports, such as Daisy and the Mario brothers, were engaged in a very different but equally competitive type of game.

Peach sighed, resting her hands on the windowsill. Her three friends must be missing their favorite tennis partner right now. Whether they wanted to play girls versus boys or couple versus couple, Peach was sure to be conspicuous in her absence. Really, it was awful of her to be hiding up here. As ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom, it was her duty, and usually her pleasure, to preside over festivities like this. Luckily, there were no foreign dignitaries attending this spring because she could have seriously offended them by withdrawing so quickly.

Morosely, she slumped over onto one elbow, resting her chin in her delicate, white gloved hand. What had gotten into her? Normally, this was one of her favorite celebrations. Well, really they were all her favorites. Usually that thought would have made her giggle. Now it just made her melancholy. Nothing was actually _wrong_. But she felt restless, full of a strange energy, very different from the bubbly, happy energy she usually felt on the arrival of spring, with no idea where it came from or what to do with it. Her face felt hot and she fanned herself absentmindedly with her hand.

Taring herself away from the window, lest someone should look up and see her, she flounced back into her room. That was another feature of her strange condition: not being able to sit still for more than five minutes, finding herself distracted, easily bored, and unable to focus. Several times, she circled the room until, more overheated than ever, she collapsed on the bed in a froth of lace and petticoats. She had always loved her ruffled pink princess bed that she'd slept in since she was a little girl. Why did it now make her feel unsatisfied in some vague way that she could not fathom?

Feeling dizzy from the heat, (how could it be so warm, it was only spring?) she stared blankly at the ceiling for an unspecified length of time before starting to pull off her gloves, discovering to her disgust that, underneath underneath the pristine fabric, she had sweaty palms. Princesses should never have sweaty palms. It was so undignified. Going without gloves was highly improper as well. Unless she was dressing for sports, she only ever took them off in the privacy of her room. But now, removing them, did make her hands feel much better, cooler and more free. She could actually sense a breeze from the window moving across her now bare skin and saw the tiny blond hairs on her arms rise in response.

Restless again, she leapt out of bed and made her way over to the display cabinet of her treasures. This too had been a feature since childhood and now it fairly bulged with porcelain toad figurines, dried flowers and bird's nests from her romps in the gardens, valentines from Daisy and from Mario, and curios she had brought back from her many travels. Now one item caught her eyes among the riot of pinks and whites, reds, pale blues, and lavenders. It was a globe filled with water and set on a small gilded pedestal, inside of of which the figure of a girl, her long hair spread out over her arms, lay face down under a bare, leafless tree. Carefully, Peach lifted it down from its place on the shelf and, as she did so, the white and silver bits scattered around the globe were shaken up and swirled through the water. For a long time, she held the globe gently between her palms, watching the particles settle back to the ground, mantling the prone body of the girl in a pale, sparkly covering. Again, she shook up the globe and, again, she watched it settle, as she wondered what it was that had driven the girl to lie on the ground like that

Some time, a long time, there was a knock on the door. "Who is it?" she called, trying to keep her voice cheerful sounding as she quickly smoothed her hair and fumbled for her gloves.

"It's a me, Mario."

"Come in," she called, pasting a smile on her face as she pulled her gloves up over her elbows.

"Princess Peach, are you a okay?" he asked as he slipped into the room.

She made a face. "Nothing's wrong that I know of. I just feel a little...weird. I don't know." Although she still wanted to look and act flawless whenever possible, she didn't need to maintain the perfect princess routine one hundred percent around Mario. He'd rescued her and fought beside her enough times to know that her makeup would smudge and her hair get mussed in certain extreme circumstances. She still didn't want him to see her without her gloves though. "I can't explain it," she sighed. "I just didn't feel like socializing today." She cringed as she said it. Peach not wanting to socialize was a unthinkable as if she were to wear a black dress.

But Mario didn't criticize her, didn't even pry as Daisy would have done. "It's a fine," he said. "Everyone has a bad day sometime. But I thought I'd a come up and tell you the Toad Youth Theater Brigade is about to a perform and I thought you'd a like to see it.

"It's always been one of my favorite parts of the festival," she said uncertainly. "But..."

"It might a make you feel better" He held out his hand to her and she noticed, as if for the first time, that he too wore gloves though, in his case, it was only his best pair of white cotton plumbing gloves which, of course, were never actually used for plumbing. He looked so sincere that Peach felt bad making her dear friend worry so.

"Sure I'll come," she said, reaching out to take his hand and managing a smile that was, at least a little bit, not fake.

Fortunately, most of the spectators were already gathered around the open air theater on the south side of the palace grounds, waiting eagerly for the performance to start. So Mario and Peach were able to slip into their seats undisturbed, sitting, as she requested, on the far side of the theater from Lugi and Daisy. Daisy _would_ chatter so and Peach just wanted to sit quietly. She smiled gratefully at her companion. Normally quiet to a fault, Mario could sense when Peach wanted to be left in peace and, right now, that was priceless. Patting her reassuringly on the shoulder he stood up and tilted his head towards the concession stands on the edge of the open-air theater.

"You a want some cotton candy?" he asked and Peach nodded, blushing. He knew her so well it was almost as if he could read her mind. A roll of fluffy, pink cotton candy was exactly what she needed right now. Moved the imaginary candy around on her tongue, anticipating its airy sweetness, she looked out at the stage, it's red spotted curtain ripping in the fresh breeze, as Mario went off on his errand. In the pit below the stage, the members of the Toad Youth Orchestra Brigade were tuning their instruments and could be faintly heard over the buzz of conversation. Sliding back into the seat next to her, Mario handed her the candy she had requested and a large lemonade to go with it as Peach smiled gratefully at him, whispering her thanks.

And just in time too for the show was about to start. In the bright sun it was impossible to dim the lights but a little toad girl, her pale green hair in tight ringlets matching her dress and the spots on her cap, shuffled into the middle of the stage and coughed exaggeratedly to attract attention. Slowly, the audience sank into silence and the girl looked around, a little scared, then blurted out, "Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Toad Youth Theater Brigade's annual spring show. Please, no flash photography." Polite laughter rippled around the theater at the joke of taking flash photos in the sunlight but the girl went very red. "Anyway, we'regladyou'rehereenjoytheshow," she stammered, not pausing for breath, and bolted off stage so fast she almost tripped over her skirt. But, before the applause had even died away, she came running back and squealed, completely out of breath, "We're doing Toadamus and Shroombee," before disappearing again.

As the curtain rose, Mario leaned to Peach's side and whispered, "It's already much a better than last year." Peach nodded absently, licking cotton candy off the fingers of one hand, which she had discreetly ungloved for the purpose, and looking out at the blank stage.

A portly toady boy, probably Hef T.'s son waddled onto the stage, wrapped in a brick print throw rug. "I am a wall," he declared, spreading his arms wide. "Look at me. I am a wall. Nothing get's past me." Right on cue, a girl and boy toad came tiptoeing out from opposite sides of the stage and proceeded to whisper around the wall who would dart his eyes around suspiciously and listen with one hand to his ear, clearly aware something was going on and, when he finally figured out what they would doing, would shoo them away with his hands...at which point, they would run around to whisper behind his back and the whole cycle would repeat.

"This is a fantastic," whispered Mario, clearly struggling not to burst into full on laughter and Peach nodded absently, straining to hear what the two actors were actually saying over the mirth of the crowd. They were, of course, Toadamus and Shroombee and they had been forbidden by their parents to marry.

"Delay, my love, longer we must not," cried Toadamus, flinging out his arm in a dramatic gesture, which was completely spoiled when the wall tried to shove him away.

"Stray my family from will I tonight," declared Shroombee in return. "But how find you then will I?"

"Meet we the old tree beneath on Shooting Star Summit and from thence to Marrymore go will we straight." They scampered off stage, while the wall stood there looking offended and the crowd clapped enthusiastically. Then the curtain rose on a painted backdrop of Shooting Star Summit in front of which stood a tree in flower, made of wire and tissue, both contributed by the Toad Youth Artist Brigade. A live (hopefully) tame piranha plant in a pot was set a short distance away, slumped over and appearing asleep. Entering cautiously, Shroombee wandered around looking for Toadamus, in the process stumbling into the piranha plant and waking it up. It snapped at her and she ran away screaming, dropping her mushroom cap with its distinctive heart shaped, purple spots. This must have been made of or at least scented with something tasty as the plant proceeded to chew it all to bits. Almost instantly, Toadamus wandered onto the stage and, seeing the chewed cap, concluded Shroombee must have been eaten by the plant. Then, in the midst of a melodramatic speech about his loss, dropped own in a dead faint while the audience roared with laughter and the plant, perhaps thinking it was being funny as well, tried to bite him but found he'd falling just a little too far from it's pot.

As the mirth swelled still further, Peach shifted uncomfortably, finding the humor almost disrespectful for some reason. The play was supposed to be funny. It _was_ a comedy after all. But now, it just seemed wrong. Losing someone you felt that deeply about wasn't funny. Just feeling that deeply about someone period wasn't really funny either and Peach found herself almost envying Toadamus and Shroombee. They had direction and drive and purpose. None of the random restlessness driving her crazy. As Shroombee returned and, seeing the apparently dead Toadamus, launched into her own melodramatic speech, Peach chewed nervously on the end of her lemonade straw and tried not to look askance at Mario, who appeared completely unconcerned and was laughing at least as loudly as anyone else.

The great climax came when Shroombee, overwhelmed in her turn, fainted as well, falling beside her beloved as the piranha plant began to nibble delightedly at the edge of her lace petticoat, the only thing it could reach. The audience burst into wild applause as a little toad girl crouching behind the piranha plant's pot began to pull a string, shaking the tree to make the white tissue flowers rain down on the two still forms and, suddenly Peach felt her heart come into her mouth. "It's just like the scene in my snow globe," she whispered, wondering desperately why she felt about to cry.

"Eh? What did you a say?" asked Mario, leaning closer to make himself heard over the clapping.

"Nothing," said Peach sadly. "Just remembering everything I need to get done over the next few days."


	2. Escape,er, I mean kidnapping

OMG slowest update ever! I'm in summer semester right now, teaching four half time courses which, so my father tells me, is the same as teaching eight regular courses. Eight! Anyway, things may drag for the next month for this reason. I promise, in fall, I'll be more sane. Anyway. Hope you enjoy part two here.

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><p>Of course, things were never simple. Peach's presence had been noticed at the theater-with her iconic garb it would have been difficult not to be—and, before the applause had fully died away, she was being mobbed by fans who had missed her without even fully realizing it. People wanted autographs, their children kissed, advice or pronouncements on various local issues. Peach could not refuse, knowing her duty and doing her best to remain cheerful in spite of the fact that she had not intended to do this in the slightest. As soon as she had attended to the wishes of her immediate admirers, someone two rows over called to her and Peach threaded her way through the departing audience towards them. Almost at once, she was called away still further by a group of children who had picked a special bouquet for her and the press of the crowd soon separated her from Mario, who was rather reluctant to leave his seat in any kind of a hurry. Probably, he assumed she would just come back when she had finished what she was doing, little realizing just how long this was likely to take.<p>

Over the course of the next hour or so, Peach made her way around the castle grounds, smiling, waving, and making pleasant conversation, clutching her gradually wilting bouquet in stiff fingers. So focused was she on her role, her duty, that there was, thankfully, no space for her to feel despair that the very thing she wanted to avoid had been brought to pass, or resentment towards Mario that he had persuaded her come back out into this. So, when she started to hear a familiar buzz and whir, just at the edge of hearing, it didn't even register to her first. When a few moments later, it did, she felt panic—her life was complicated enough already right now- but also, sickeningly, relief. As if in answer to a prayer, she'd been provided with a way of escaping her admirers without offending anyone.

So when, a moment later, the koopa clown car came careening over the trees, lurching from side to side like a drunken ox, she was not in the least surprised. From long experience, she knew resistance would be useless. So she stood perfectly still. No point in getting hot and disheveled for nothing. But, as the claws closed around her arm, she gave a high, quivering, bell like scream. It was the proper thing for a princess to do, what everyone would be expecting and wanting her to do. But Peach's reaction wasn't just a performance, it was a habit. This had happened to her so many times, ever since she was a little girl, that now she practically went on auto pilot, even remembering to raise her left ankle high as she was hauled over the side of the clown car, not, as the viewers might think, as a way of kicking her heels like a proper damsel in distress, but because the railing on that side was slightly lopsided and, if she didn't get it out of the way fast enough, her ankle would knock painfully against it.

With another crazy lurch, that still made her stomach turn even though she had been expecting it, the clown car turned and went bobbing back up over the trees. Knowing that looking at the ground would just make her even more queasy, Peach sank to the floor, resting her back against the smooth white side of the car, that by now seemed curved specially to fit it, and drawing her knees up to her chin. Looking down at the dirty paint between her feet, she let her eyes start to un-focus. She wasn't sure which of Bowser's castles they were heading for but, even the closest was over an hour away so it would be a long ride.

"You really should get the railing fixed." Peach was never sure exactly what had made her speak. Perhaps her new restlessness simply couldn't bear the thought of sitting in silence for that long.

"What's that?" Bowser growled, looking back over his shoulder and taking his hands off the control panel in the process.

"Watch where you're going," Peach snapped, feeling herself blush almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth. Rarely was she this sharp, even with Bowser, and having her feelings just burst out of her like this made her rather embarrassed, as if her heart and body weren't her own anymore. "Look," she muttered, almost apologetically, as Bowser obligingly turned back to steering the car. "It will already be dark by the time we get to your castle and I don't really want to be up here at night any longer than I need to. It gets so cold."

"Not any more." Bowser grinned back at her for a moment. "I had a heating system installed."

"Oh, that's good...I guess." Peach wasn't really sure what to say and the silence started to become conspicuous.

"What were you saying, Princess?" Bowser asked awkwardly at last. "Is something wrong with the railing?"

"Yes. It's crooked right there so I hit my ankle every time...and would it hurt you to install a chair for me or something?"

"Don't push your luck, Princess," Bowser sneered, having at least partially regained his composure. "I already installed a heating system...I will have the railing looked at though," he conceded sourly.

Peach desperately wanted to say thank you, if only to assuage her own guilt over being cranky but she could sense doing so would be considered rude in koopa culture. So, instead, she asked, "Why did you decide to kidnap me, today I mean?"

"It was a beautiful day for flying. So I was just out and then I realized I was close by you so I thought I should drop in."

"That's nice of you but you didn't need to kidnap me. You could come to the festival like everybody else."

"And waste my time socializing with those morons? Think again, Princess."

"I'm sure they can't all be that bad. Mario would have been glad to spar with you if you'd asked."

Bowser scowled at her. "Mario? Bah! He's a loser. He'll never go all out unless something valuable is on the line."

"You mean like me." Scowling in her turn, Peach lowered her face into her knees and wished the clown car was big enough to allow her to turn her back on Bowser. "I don't appreciate being the bait to goad Mario into fighting you," she snapped.

"Goad, eh?" Bowser mumbled, clearly not sure what the word meant. "Now I wouldn't say goad, well, not exactly. But, if it _was_ a goad, it would the very best goad." As he spoke the car swung sideways and began forming wide descending circles, meaning they were nearing a castle. Stumbling to her feet, Peach took a glance over side. It looked like they were going to the castle in the Bowser Zone but she couldn't be sure. By now all his castles looked the same to her, becoming less distinctive with familiarity, rather than otherwise. They must have made record time as the sun was only now sending a vivid orange blaze across the sky, against which the castle spires stood out black and jagged. As they came thumping down on the upper loading platform, Peach graciously extended her hand in invitation for Bowser to help her out of the car but was neither surprised nor disappointed when he did not. He never had before. And yet, now she did feel something, a bit of yearning, gradually growing stronger, to be treated like a lady, the way the Mario had gone to get her candy and lemonade, only more formal still.

"If you would provide me with an escort to my room," she said with every ounce of dignity she could muster, drawing herself up to her full height...though, admittedly, that only reached Bowser's chin and then only because he hunched over so.

"Yes, yes, of course," he replied gruffly, all but snatching a passing paratroopa out of the air. "You, Sargent, show the Princess to her rooms.

"Yes, sir," the koopa almost squealed, flopping like a hooked fish as he struggled to regain his balance, then took off down the hall as fast as he could, though, with her much longer legs, Peach was able to keep up with ease. In reality, she was not in any great hurry to get to her room. Being kidnapped by Bowser was, above all, supremely boring. Not caring for books himself, Bowser had never thought to supply her with any and, while there was a television in her room, it only got koopa channels, which were usually not very interesting either, consisting mostly of inane game shows, and Peach resigned herself to yet another night wasted watching "Koopa Bachelor," "Big Bowser," or any one of the hundred shows too numerous to count where the contestants had to perform various dangerous or disgusting stunts. What she wouldn't give for even the most basic arts and crafts or cooking show.

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><p>Late that night, Kamek, former governor and chief adviser to Lord Bowser, was started out of a sound sleep by a booming pounding on his door, a sound he realized with despair could mean only one thing.<p>

"Kamek, tell me, what is a goad?" asked Bowser looking severely at his chief adviser, once Kamek had pulled on a robe and stumbled into his anteroom in response to the overwhelmingly loud knocking.

"You got me up in the middle of the night to answer _that_?" Puffing himself up with affronted dignity, Kamek eyed his sovereign narrowly.

"Yes, for that. Now answer the question, you worthless sack of worthless sack contents."

"A goad is a pointy stick," said Kamek in a superior tone, "Used for poking draft animals to make them go faster."

"I see...it's a kind of weapon then."

"Well, I suppose it _could_ be but...Lord Bowser, are you you're feeling alright?"

"Never felt better. At long last, I will defeat my hated rival." Bringing his fist down on the table, Bowser gave a toothy grin, and Kamek winced as the reverberations of the impact made his carefully stacked piles of books and papers tumble down into a hopeless mess.

"Lord Bowser, _what _are you talking about?"

"Don't you see? Peach mentioned this goad thing while we were talking about fighting Mario. It must be his special weakness...and, because she told me, she must want me to win."

"Your logic is astounding," Kamek replied in a tone so dry the words seemed almost to grate like sand, but his sarcasm was completely lost on his master who continued to reflect jubilantly on his upcoming victory. "Lord Bowser," almost shouting, Kamek tried to break into his sovereign's revery with the sheer volume of his voice. "Lord Bowser, perhaps you would be good enough to tell me, what exactly is going on between you and Peach?"

"You know very well noting is going on, at least nothing new...yet." Bowser crossed his arms, glaring at Kamek, and the adviser cringed, realizing he'd jumped form the frying pan into the fire. Having managed to relieve Bowser of his ludicrous optimism, he now had to deal with this depressed and grouchy version of his master instead.

"Really, your Evilness," he said, using his best chiding voice from when when he had been Bowser's caretaker. "Do you really think this is proper behavior for the King of the Koopas? Pining after a girl who doesn't like you is not exactly dignified and, besides, you're a widower. You've been married before."

"Peach and I are married now." Snarling, Bowser kicked the table, destroying any order that might have remained to Kamak's research, and probably cracking the wood as well.

"Yes, yes, so you say. But, in the eyes of the rest of the world, it's your word against hers. Unless she backs up your story, no one else will ever believe it." Bowser growled menacingly but Kamek clamped his beak tightly and refused to back down, eyes steady, jaw hard.

"Well, it doesn't matter any way," Bowser said coldly after a moment, waving his claws airily in Kamek's face. "Peach is my Lady so she doesn't have to like me."

"Your what?" Shuffling over to the table, Kamek began putting the book sand papers in order to hide his consternation.

"My Lady, like in the legend of Sir Koopalot. He loved the wife of the Koopa King so they could never marry but just being able to serve her was good enough for him."

"Your Evilness, those tales of Sir Koopalot are just children's stories...and even if they _were_ true, you're no knight. You're the king himself and you have a duty..."

"To marry and produce an heir? I already did that. I have seven. I should be able to do what I want now. End of discussion." Bowser moved noisily out of the room, stopping in the doorway to look back over his shoulder. "Also, find me a goad, and quickly."

"How quickly, sire?" asked Kamek warily, hoping he would be able to mange at least a few more hours of sleep.

"By morning. There's no telling when Mario might arrive." Bowser lumbered off down the hall, not looking back to notice the look of utter exasperation on his chief adviser's face.


	3. Archeology

Been delayed again because of midterms. Finally have a little breathing room so here's an update. I apologize in advance for the typos some of you have been finding. Usually I edit more carefully but my hectic schedule made it difficult. I appreciate all the comments I've been getting, especially the one to the effect "I love it even though nothing is happening." :P Still nothing happening in this installment but I hope you enjoy any way.

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><p>Peach pushed her hand as far into the back of the drawer as it would go, feeling the roughness of the wood against the tips of her fingers. Having nothing better to do, she had decided to pass the time by snooping around her bedroom. It wasn't exactly a proper princess activity but she was just so bored. Besides, she was in enemy territory so it was only right she should...well, no...not really. Even in the broadest sense, she couldn't bring herself to think of Bowser as her enemy. He'd never actually harmed her. Her kidnappings were, at worst, a nuisance and, sometimes, more often than she cared to admit, they were actually a relief. Sure, it wasn't very nice of Bowser to take her away without asking but that didn't justify her not being nice in response. Peach felt her face starting to get hot again, which seemed to happen far too frequently these days, like she was always doing something embarrassing. And now, even as she blushed, she knew it would not stop her. The nervous energy roiling in her stomach and sending tingling pulses out to the edges of her limbs would not allow it.<p>

Her gloves lay carefully folded on the side of the bed to protect them from the dust and grime. Walking her bare fingers along the back of the drawer, Peach encountered a folded piece of cloth, soft once maybe but which now felt rough and worn. Pulling it out, she took it over to the window where the light was better, unfolding it carefully. It was a ruffle edged handkerchief of the kind a fine lady would carry, rather like, in fact, the one Peach had in her pocket at the very moment, crisp and white with delicate delicate hand embroidery. But, instead of being embroidered with flowers and stars, this one was embroidered with fireballs with a boarder of piranha plants around the edge and the initials C.K. Worked into the corners. In the bright light, Peach could see the material wasn't really so white after all, even after she had shaken the dust out. Clearly belonging to a prolific crier, it was yellowed with copious tear stains and, in addition, there were some dark streaks that looked almost like soot smudges. As she stood there, Peach felt a strange sadness inside her, wondering who C.K. was, why she had cried so much and how the kerchief had been left in this room.

But there were no answers and soon she continued her search, leaving the handkerchief folded beside her gloves. There was little to find. In the back of one of the bathroom cabinets, she discovered an old bottle of Eau de Brimstone, red cut glass, flashing like fire. The perfume had long since evaporated but a faint whiff of the sour smell lingered in the bottom of the bottle, causing Peach to wrinkle her nose in distaste. A further search revealed some crumbled tissue paper, the remains of a pack of gum, and a very crudely written note that read, "Don't bother to buy milk," none of it very interesting. Fuming with frustration, Peach flopped down on the bed and switched on the TV. But ten minutes of _Koopa Bachelor_ were more than she could stand and soon she was making a second circuit of the room, more slowly and carefully, pulling out all the draws and switching on the closet light to be sure she didn't miss anything.

Thus it was that Peach noticed a small dark spot up near the top of the closet. She must have looked at it hundreds of time over the years and had always assumed it was a shadow. But now she wasn't so sure. Dragging the pink plush vanity stool into the closet, she clambered on top of it, first removing her shoes to improve balance and avoid damaging the plush. She reached as high as she could but her hand just fell short. Rising on tiptoe, she tried again, using her other hand to brace against the closet wall, straining higher and higher until her feet were arched like those of a ballet dancer, until her fingers just brushed the dark path and discovered it was, indeed, a void, rough at the edge as if someone had bashed a hole in the wall.

Now she needed a way to extend her reach still further and Peach certainly wasn't stupid enough to try stacking things on top of the already unstable stool to make it higher so she needed to make her arm longer. For a second, she almost wished Bowser had been cheap enough to equip her closet with wire hangers, then recoiled at the implied insult to herself. In the end, she settled for using, of all things, the toilet brush from the bathroom, which she had to hold by the prickly end since that end was too big to even fit into the hole. Back in the closet, Peach eased the handle of the toilet brush into the dark opening and felt it connect. There was definitely something in there. She poked harder but it refused to budge, must be wedged in there very tightly. More carefully now, she tried to work the handle down under whatever it was. It made her arm hurt to stretch it above her head like that but then she thought she felt whatever it was move, and a surge of elation knifed through her. Redoubling her efforts she levered the handle as hard as she could, taking her other hand off the wall to use the strength of both arms.

And then, somehow, her foot slipped. One of her arched, aching toes started to give way, wobbled too far to the side and the next thing Peach knew, her foot was out form under her and she'd fallen hard against the wall, probably bruising her shoulder in the process. Only luck had stopped her from going off backwards and cracking her skull on the floor of the closet. Her head reeling, the world spinning around her, Peach clutched the wall with both hands, even though there was nothing to hold on to. She didn't feel safe at all on top of this narrow stool but was too frightened to shift her feet even an inch to try and reach the floor. The fear possessed her whole body, making her arms and legs shake, her heart race, her breath come short, and she could do noting about it, was too paralyzed to move out of danger. Which was ridiculous seeing as she had adventured and fought beside Mario before. She couldn't explain it. Maybe because, in those situations, she had chosen the danger.

And then, almost as imperceptibly as the opening of a flower it gradually on Peach that these sensations were not entirely unpleasant. The racing fear made her light headed, giddy, in a way that seemed to strip weight from her body, that was almost euphoric. The panting breath and wild beating of her heart were exciting, energizing. Slipping limply down off the stool, she found her self laughing crazily as she flung herself onto the bed and rolled over and over, still laughing and feeling better than she had in ages. When she had finally stopped shaking, or when the shaking and laughter had subsided to a rippling quiver, Peach got back on her feet and returned to the closet. As soon as she put her foot on the stool, she felt her heart begin to pound again and almost stepped back down, then remembered how deliciously wonderful almost falling had been and eagerly redoubled her efforts.

This time, they bore fruit and a small dark object was dislodged from the compartment, flying through the air to hit the opposite wall of the closet, fortunately above Peach's head, and dropping to the floor. Gathering her skirts about her ankles to avoid tripping, Peach was down after it, her hands closing around the cool, textured surface. It was a book, bound in dark green leather, embossed and ornamented with gold leaf, though now much battered and faded, and dark with dust, the pages thin and yellowed. It had fallen face down but, turning it over, she found the title, _Morte DeKoopa_, was still just visible in raised Gothic letters.

A loud pounding rattled her door in the frame and startled Peach, who suddenly remembered she was kneeling on the floor of a closet with another's private property in her hands. "Princess Peach, your presence is required," came the almost nasal voice of the excited Koopa Troopa outside.

"Just a moment. I'll be right there." Scrambling to her feet, she slipped the book into the pocket of her dress, without thinking and ran to open the door.

"Lord Bowser requires your presence in the battle room," the guard declared, as importantly as he could, considering that his head came up to about Peach's waist. "Make haste, Mario approaches." Despite herself, Peach grimaced, loathing the Bowser/Mario battles with a hatred born of long nurturing. No one ever seemed to really get hurt but she was always so afraid someone might and, if they did, it would be her fault, if only indirectly, so she spent every combat breath held, fists clenched, lip gnawed, too nervous to watch and too paralyzed to look away. "Hurry, Princess." The koopa coughed and eyes her impatiently.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she cried, reminding herself sternly to mind her manners in spite of everything. But the second she stepped from the deep carpet of her bed room onto the sleek marble of the corridor outside, she let out a cry of shock at how cold and hard it was, something she had never really noticed before. To her extreme mortification, she discovered that she had left not only her gloves but her shoes as well back in the room, and, forgetting all else, turned immediately and dashed back to retrieve them, despite the guard's agitated protests.

The battle room was always located deep in the heart of Bowser's fortress, such that anyone approaching it from outside had to make their way through an obstacle course to reach it. There was a battle room in every castle and they were each a little bit different. Some had pits of lava, some collapsing floors, some trap doors for dropping spiked balls through, but the basic idea was always the same. Peach wondered idly, as she frequently did at times like this, how much time and money had been sunk in all the different battle rooms, not to mention the obstacle courses leading up to them. Had they been built by Bowser specifically for dueling with her rescuers, or by some ancient Koopa King for fulfill a mysterious, now long defunct, purpose? Certainly Bowser had added to them over the years. For example, she noted that in this particular battle room, a narrow parapet running between two high towers had recently been rebuilt with new, shiny black stone and fitted out with fire blasters mounted on the crenelated railing.

The blasters hadn't been turned on yet and it was easy for Peach to cross the narrow bridge to where Bowser was waiting, eagerly clutching a long metal rod with a point on the end and a backwards facing hook coming out of the side. "Good afternoon, Princess," he called jovially. "I hope you're feeling well."

"Fine, thank you," Peach replied, as politely as she could. Bowser was one person she most definitely did _not_ want to know about the strange things happening to her recently.

"Excellent, excellent." Bowser made as if to reach for her, almost smacking her in the head with the rod in the process.

"Careful there." Peach ducked back out of the way and Bowser looked sheepish. "What is that thing?" she asked , smoothing her dress as she came over stand beside him.

Bowser's grin got even deeper. "It's my goad which I'm going to use to defeat Mario."

"Just don't hurt him, okay?"

"Of course not...as long as he remembers to stay away from the pointy end."

"Will he be here soon?" Peach wasn't exactly eager for Mario to have to go through all this, especially with the goad and the new fire blasters but, at the same time, standing around, making awkward conversation with Bowser wasn't exactly on her list of favorite activities either.

"He was spotted less than a mile from the gates and then he has to make it through the castle. Still, shouldn't be more than an hour at the most," said Bowser easily, shading his eyes as if searching for his rival in the distance, even though the platform they were on was located such that it was almost impossible to see the ground around the castle form here. Absently, Peach wonder if this was the castle with the backdoor. Mario had discover the backdoor many years ago but privately had told her that using it made him fell guilty. It felt so unsporting to pass ninety percent of the obstacles Bowser had worked so hard to set up. So he would only use it as a last resort, when he was out of coins, out of lives, and out of mushrooms. Peach sighed. She couldn't expect this to be one of those times, even assuming there _was_ a backdoor in the first place, and she shouldn't be hoping for Mario to be in such dire straits anyway.

"Nice job fixing up this place," said Peach, as always at a loss for the polite thing to say to one's captor while waiting to be rescued.

Bowser grinned even wider. "Isn't it though?" he smirked. "Even if I do say so himself. Those flame blasters are the latest in the fire precision technology. Should be quite a challenge for Mario. I think he'll enjoy it." At those words, despite her best efforts, Peach felt anger boil up inside her, a kind of panicky resentment and this wasn't the first time. She frequently felt this way when Bowser, or Mario for that matter, talked about their battles. Why did she always feel so...so...threatened by the idea that they cared more about their rivalry with each other than about her? Did it really mean so much to her to have people fight, risk injury because of her?

At the question, Peach felt something inside her thrash like a hooked fish. A voice in her mind screamed shrilly, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!" drowning out the horror and self loathing of such a thought, at least for a moment. So intense was the realization that Peach reeled, almost sagging against Bowser and nearly impaling herself on the goad in the process. Bowser looked concerned or, at least, extremely surprised. Peach saw his mouth move but couldn't process the words, while she focused on bringing herself back under control, back to the cool, poised Princess she should be. No, never that. A true princess would never have such selfish, blood-thirsty thoughts. As she stood there, hunched over, breathing hard, as her mind swung giddily between elation and loathing, there came a loud crash from the doorway on the far side of the bridge and the frightened scream of a novice koopa troopa. "Prepare yourself, Lord Bowser. Mario has arrived."


	4. Battle and Bar

Another timely update. This time the delay was that I needed to revisit some games to make sure I got the speech patterns of a certain character right. Yeah, I take my fan-fic seriously :P. In any case I hope you enjoy the local color this detour added. Plot's finally starting to pick up. Maybe?

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><p>Mario appeared at the head of the stairs and came charging along the walkway, leaping over the fire blasters with exquisite timing, seemingly un-phased by this new addition to Bowser's arsenal. Always before, Peach had become sick with worry for him. Already, she was bracing herself for the nausea in the stomach, the tightness in the throat. But they never came. Instead, her euphoria kept growing stronger. Her gaze was riveted, unable to look away, not in horror this time, but in triumph. He was risking his life, and doing it, with the unthinking beauty of a dancer, for her. For her! She felt like Goddess Peach, one hundred feet tall and able to envelope the world in her skirts.<p>

Now Mario was at the end of the causeway and Bowser was stepping forward to meet him, crouched low, the goad held defensively in front of him. Although he was even more ungainly than his opponent, he too was beautiful, Peach now realized, because of the ease and confidence of his movements and because he too was fighting for her. As they circled slowly, sizing each other up with a precision born of long practice, she felt a small cry of admiration catch in her throat. Bowser swung the goad wide and Mario dropped to the ground so it passed over his head, aiming a low circle kick at Bowser as he did so. It missed but, in jumping back to avoid it, the Koopa King put himself off balance and Mario came bounding to his feet, read to take the offensive.

The next moment, flame crackled from both combatant, meeting with a great explosion of white and gold sparks as their fire balls impacted and mutually obliterated each other. Peach could feel the heat from the explosion wash over her, tightening the skin of her face, and though this couldn't be true, seemed to feel it deep inside of her as well, even in the pit of her stomach. Always before, these pyrotechnic displays had frightened her and they still did but, as when she slipped in the closet, the fear made her happy as well.

Bowser definitely seemed to be getting the upper hand this time. If nothing else, the goad gave him a longer reach than normal, though his was already the greater and the extra fancy foot work needed to keep dodging this was beginning to tell on Mario. Peach could see it in his face but, even now, it was difficult to feel too much concern through her fascination with watching his battle skills. Although he was weakening, he was a long was from beaten, his eyes watching the path of the goad carefully each time Bowser swung it. Then, suddenly, he flung himself full on his foe, grabbing the goad with both hands. Roaring with fury, Bowser swung his weapon about wildly, lifting Mario into the air and jerking him back and forth like the tail of an erratic kite. Clinging desperately, the plumber actually managed to let go with one hand and, as he passed in one of his sweeping arcs, punched Bowser hard on the jaw. As he had doubtless intended, the koopa roared in shock, dropping the goad before he could stop himself. The impact on the hard stone of the platform looked like it would hurt but, if it did, Mario did not allow it to slow him down. Bouncing up so quickly he seemed to be on springs, he kicked the goad, sending it spinning across the platform to vanish over the side, dropping into the glowing lack of lava below and Bowser roared with fury at being deprived of his weapon. From there, the fight was virtually a walk over. Bowser was so surprised or frustrated that his plan had not worked that he wasn't thinking properly so Mario was able to grab him by the tail with ease, swing him around, and hurl him to the ground.

Than, as he lay stunned from the impact, Mario seized Peach by the hand and raced back along the walkway, the fire blasters having fortunately shut off after he passed the first time. On the far side, as always, a small Lakitu cloud was waiting, which Bowser thoughtfully provided so that, in the event that she was rescued, Peach wouldn't have to walk all the way home. Though, she imagined, he was significantly less pleased about the fact that, by default, he was also providing transportation to Mario. Sinking down gratefully on the soft cloud and catching her skirts up around her feet, she smiled over at Mario who had climbed onto the cloud next to her and was casting it off from the castle wall.

"Thank you for rescuing me," she said sweetly, as they rose into the air, drifting gently and soundlessly, except when they they were bounced occasionally by an unusually strong gust of wind and Peach couldn't help feeling resentment over the fact that Bowser always had to carry her off in the noisy, lurching clown car, instead of one of these nice clouds.

"Don't a mention it, Princess," said Mario, tipping his hat to her, which had somehow managed to stay on throughout his fight. "It was a nothing. I hope you're a alright."

"Fine, thanks to you." But, inside, Peach could feel herself wince and gave a little shudder with her shoulders as if she had an itch, in an attempt to hide it. Sure, she want's harmed by Bowser, actually felt it was rather inane of him to ask her as she never had been in her whole long history of kidnapping. Sure there had been a few scares, like the time when he had tied her up and hung her from the ceiling to lure Mario into his trap. But, even that had not resulted in anything remotely resembling serious injury, nor had it been intended to. But, despite the fact that Bowser himself was about as dangerous as a tame puppy, Peach wasn't really sure she was alright at all. How could she be after having such horrible thoughts? And then she became aware that Mario was staring at her with a look of total horror and she felt a wave of heat pass through her as if she were about to faint, certain that he could somehow read her thoughts.

"That a beast," he cried, angrier than she had ever seen him. "I'll a kill him. What did he a do to you?"

"Who? What?" Peach mumbled stupidly, gradually realizing his gaze of horror was directed not into her soul but at her shoulder. In her earlier wince and shudder, the short, puffed sleeve of her dress had slipped up, revealing a blotchy, purple and green bruise which must have been formed when she slammed into the wall. Knowing there was a physical sign of her weirdness, her stupidity, was so much the worse, but she had to keep the situation under control...somehow. "Oh, this?" she tried to keep her voice light. "You've got it all wrong, Mario. Bowser didn't do this."

"Really?" His eyes narrowed. "How did it a happen then?"

"I...uh...fell down." Peach was a horrible liar and even though this wasn't technically a lie, it still was.

Mario, clearly, wasn't fully convinced but couldn't bring himself to challenge her directly. "If you a say so, Peach," he replied, almost sadly. "But, if I ever discover he had a hurt you, he'll be a turtle soup."

"Oh stop," Peach cried wretchedly. "You know Bowser's really harmless," her distress at his violent attitude rendered all the more acute by the knowledge that she was no longer in a position to criticize. Half turning away in her frustration, she felt something hard knock against her leg as she did so. Cold water poured down Peach's back and she felt ready to throw up. It was the book she had found in Bowser's closet. In the confusion of the fight, she had forgotten all about it so it was still in her dress pocket. Now, on top of everything else, Peach was a thief.

* * *

><p>The bar was faintly lit, the few lamps in evidence coated with dust so that only a grimy, oily light filtered out. Several big screen TVs were playing live coverage of the glitz pit fights but could barely be heard over the stereo system, complete with extra base, that was blasting koopa metal from the back corner. Bowser was slumped over the bar, emptying his fourth drink. After fighting Mario, he almost always wound up here, to drown all his aches and bruises, not just the physical ones but the damage to his pride and the hurt of being separated from Peach again.<p>

"Rough day, sire?" asked the barkeep, an elderly goomba with drooping mustaches. Bowser was never sure how he, or any other goomba, was able to manipulate objects without hands but it really didn't matter as he was certainly more than capable of preparing drinks without them.

"You know it," replied Bowser, not sure if he wanted to be left alone or soothed by being fawned over. "I lost to Mario...again. And he didn't even seem impressed by my awesome secret weapon. "

"Of course, your Militariness. Mario really doesn't appreciate all the effort you go to to give him a good battle. He ought to send you a thank you card."

"At least." Bowser puffed out his chest and felt just a little bit better. "If I wasn't always keeping him on this toes, what would he do when someone _else_ kidnapped Peach." Then, thinking of Peach and how she was also not impressed with his efforts, his spirits sank back into the gutter.

"Don't be so depressed your Surliness. I have exciting news. The great Glitz Pit star King K will be dropping by tonight and I'll send him your way. He can make even those brooding Twilight Towners laugh. I've seen it myself. Besides," the barkeep gave a wink as he waddled off to visit the next customer, "I know he's a great hit with the ladies."

"Great, just what I need: a showoff," Bowser muttered, slumping further down onto the bar and secretly hoping this King K would not showing up after all, a hope that soon proved futile. To make matters worse, at that precise moment, Bowser had just heaved a great fiery sigh, accidentally igniting his drink. Not only was this horribly embarrassing, it also made him unmistakably conspicuous—not that anyone could have missed a koopa as impressive as himself in any case. Bowser hated King K almost as soon as he set eyes on him. In the dim light, he appeared to be a dirty, sickly yellow color, like fancy mustard, a food Bowser despised, and his face was hidden behind a huge pair of shiny, wrap around shades like he was coolest of the cool, apparently not realizing that title was already claimed by the koopa king. Probably for the same reason, he walked with what was clearly meant to be a leisurely swagger. But, to Bowser, it looked like a crass waddle, as if he were wearing his shell too low.

"Hey, B-man," this singularly unpleasant individual yelled, loud enough to be heard over the music...and to attract the attention of every other creature in the bar.

Bowser grimaced sourly as he tried clumsily to beat out the flames of his drink. "Yo...dude...how's it goin'..." He kept his voice completely dead pan, hoping this latest annoyance would take the hint and g away. No such luck.

"Lord Bowsah, it's an honor ta hang wi' you." He sauntered over and eased onto the stool next to Bowser, hitching up his shell at least once in the process and then, to Bowser's utter disgust, leaned in conspiratorially. "Ol' Gooms here tells me you're in need ah some man ta man talk. So, what kin King K do fer you?"

Bowser glared at him. "Take a cheep-cheep and shove it where cheep-cheeps don't go...and I mean the spiny kind of cheep-cheep," he finished for good measure.

"Come on B-man, you don't have ta get no 'tude with me. I just wanna help you."

"The Great King Bowser needs no help."

"Course he don't. But ol' King K, he know the ladies. An' a certain princess..."

"How do you know about that?" snarled Bowser.

"Who don't? Sorry to break it ta ya but your 'ho kingdom know 'bout that. It ain't cool the way she keeps blown' you off like that. It' ain't cool, man."

"You're right." Bowser banged his fist on the bar importantly, privately thinking this koopa might not be quite as bad as he originally thought. "But what do you propose we do about it?"

"Now that depends...on what you want from her."

"I want to kiss her," Bowser blurted out and, immediately cringed at having exposed himself so fully to this, still questionable, stranger.

King K didn't respond, in fact did nothing at all, staring blankly at him without moving, though that may just have been the effect of his dark shades. Even with the blaring music and blaring TV the silence seemed to loom large. "That all man?" he asked at last, his tone sounding far too close to contemptuous for Bowser's liking.

"Are you trying to get your head pounded?" he snarled. "Almost nobody on this earth is worthy to even think about kissing Peach, so don't be taking that tone with me. 'That all?' Bah, what more could there be?"

Instead of responding, King K turned and yelled over his shoulder at the bartender. "Yo, Gooms, get me somethin' strong. Like a jammin' jelly shot. And one fo' my home-boy, Bowsah too." Then he lounged back against the bar and directed his attention to the fight on the big screen, leaving Bowser too enraged at being referred to as a "home-boy" to even speak, much less to mention the fact that he hated jammin' jelly in any form. "Those no good armored harriers." King K made a face at the TV. "Still got no skills. They a one gimmick team. No idea why Jolene even keeps 'em around."

"They win," Bowser pointed out, just to be spiteful. "They're _major_ league and popular." Their shots arrived before he could antagonize his companion further. King K downed his instantly while Bowser eyed the jiggly pink mass in his plastic cup with extreme distaste. Then, realizing he couldn't let himself be less macho than a mustard colored koopa who couldn't even make it out of the minor leagues, he forced the whole think down, gagging the whole time. "Now that we've got _that_ out of the way," he spluttered, trying to make sure the jelly would remain where it belonged. "If you've got anything to say, you should hurry up and say it."

" Man, I'm askin', you _sure_ all ya want from Peach is a kiss? Straight up now."

"I can barely even imagine that," Bowser growled, getting knots in his stomach just thinking about it.

"You been married before. You got kids. Know what I'm sayin'?"

"Are you trying to suggest I might want to...to...make eggs with Peach?" Cried Bowser in horror. "That's something one does with fat koopa women, not a delicate flower like Peach. She's too refined and, besides I...I might crush her. I should crush _you_ for even suggesting such a thing. What an insult to the Princess's dignity." But Bowser thought well enough of Gooms to not want to ruin his business by damaging property or mauling customers. So he settled for, "You're not worth getting my hands dirty on," as he stormed out the door. Infuriatingly, King K seemed totally nonplussed, continuing to lounge against the bar and calling after the retreating shell of the irate Koopa King, "Don't sweat it B-money. Think it over real good an' if ya change her mind King K'll be waitn' read to help."

Bowser fumed with anger all the way home. The never to even speak of it. Sure, he had done those things with his stupid, crass, unappealing in every way, wife, Clawdia. But the last thing he wanted was to draw any kind of connection between her and his princess. In most cases, Bowser hated even thinking of her, though she had given him eight fine children. That was her job and now, as he had told Kamek, he never needed to make eggs again.

Something tightened in Bowser's stomach, ran tingling up his spine and down into his toes. He was a koopa in the prime, the strongest, toughest koopa of them all. Did he really want to go the rest of his life without ever making eggs? When he thought about it that way, not really. But, at the same time, how could he? It would be cheating on Peach to be with anyone else that way. He kicked the seat of the koopa cruiser savagely, making the pilot wince in the cockpit. Technically, it had been cheating with Clawdia too, seeing how he had loved Peach since she was a little girl. But that had been a duty, a sacrifice for his people, an excuse he no longer had. He had thought about Peach all through the wedding, imagining, wishing it was her beside him. But later, thankfully, he had not wished that. As he watched the hatching of each of his children, he'd dreamed every time that this one had Peach's genes, but never had he dreamed how he would have gotten an egg with Peach's genes in the first place. Even when he and Peach had been married, during their bizarre adventure with the chaos heart, he had been so over joyed he'd never spared a thought for what would, or at least could, come after. But now as if King K's words had unlocked a forbidden door, he began to think and the harder he struggled to make himself stop the more his mind raced ahead.


	5. It's Just a Phase, I Promise

So, I just bought a house... A very old house that needs a lot of work done on it... I'm glad I have my writing to cheer me up. This chapter we finally find out what's wrong with Peach and I really enjoyed writing Toadsworth. I find him very funny, if a little bit sad.

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><p>Peach sat on the hard plastic chair of the waiting room, her hands locked together in her lap, heels restlessly scuffing the floor. After her rescue from Bowser's castle, whatever was wrong with her had only gotten worse. Even in the midst of her subjects and the bustle of the court she felt bored and lonely. Despite being kidnapped hundreds of times, she now seemed unable to cope emotionally, becoming angry and weepy by turns, which could not be hidden from others in the castle, including her guardian Toadsworth. Which was why she was not sitting in this uncomfortable chair in this white-washed sterile room. Always fussy to a fault, Toadsworth had quickly hit on the solution of hustling her off to the doctor's office.<p>

No one else in the waiting room said a word, though Peach could see some of the other patients glance at her from time to time with a mixture of pity and nervousness. Her subjects didn't want to be rude by intruding on whatever trouble had brought her here but she could see two women tilt their spotted caps close together and guessed they were whispering about her. The fact that the princess had shown up in the Toad Town Hospital would be all over the news by evening, doubtless giving Toadsworth fits in the process.

"Princess Toadstool." A pretty young toad in a blue dress and a crisp white apron stuck her head out from behind the door to the examination room and beckoned. "We're ready for you," she called and Peach followed her to a small room where a hospital gown was laid out, the special pink version facilities in the Mushroom Kingdom kept on hand specially for her. "I'll just give you a second to change," the girl said, holding the door for her, "and be right back to ask you some questions. I'm Nurse Bella, by the way."

"Thanks," said Peach to the closed door before starting to change her clothes. She left her gloves on and her crown. It helped her feel less vulnerable. Very soon, Nurse Bella was back to take her height and weight (5' and 120 lbs with crown), ask her about her diet and sleep patterns, and listen to her heart and lungs.

"Any major stresses in your life recently?" she started to ask, then giggled. "Oh, of course, silly me. You were just kidnapped. That's got to be a major stress."

"I suppose it would be," Peach agreed with a half smile.

"Ah, don't worry, Princess. You'll always have Mario to save you.

"That's true." The thought made her both exhilarated and uncomfortable, remembering what had been in her mind during the fight.

"You're blushing," Nurse Bella almost squealed. "Is there something we don't know...about Mario?"

Peach shook her head, blushing even harder. There was nothing about Mario, or about Bowser for that matter, that her entire kingdom didn't know. Bowser kidnapped her and Mario rescued her. That was the way it had always been. "Are you referring to the rumor that Mario and I have a relationship?" she asked uncertainly.

"Is it true?" Bella cried, even as she was shining her little light up the princess's nose and into her ears.

"I don't think so," Peach mumbled, acutely uncomfortable about being asked personal questions while during a physical examination. "I've tried baking him cakes and things like that but he's never said anything about a relationship."

Bella looked sad for a moment, then brightened quickly, slapping the blood-pressure cuff onto Peach's arm. "Well, Mario doesn't talk much," she said cheerfully. "I mean, I know he talks to you but, when he's out in public he barely says a word. Maybe he just can't verbalize things like that. Has he ever taken you on a date?"

"Well he took me to the Toad Youth Brigade play at the Spring Festival," said Peach doubtfully. "But..."

"That could be a date. Did he pay for you?"

"The show was free but he did get lemonade and cotton candy for me."

"Sure sounds like a date to me. How about physical contact? Did you hold hands?"

"Yes, well at least a little bit."

"Did you kiss?"

"No...should we have?"

Judging by the way Nurse Bella started jumping up and down with excitement, the answer almost certainly was yes, but Peach never got to hear it for, at that moment, the door and a elderly toad with a droopy mustache and a severe look on his face entered the room. "Again, Bella?" He glared at the nurse, whose face went white as her apron. "Gossiping with the patients when I'm already behind schedule? This is your last warning, young lady. Next time, you'll be out of a job with a permanent mark on your record."

"I'm so sorry, Doctor Port," mumbled Bella.

"Don't waste your spores on me, just show me the report." Snatching the paper out of her hand, he squinted hard at it, his eyes getting narrower and narrower as he read through each item on the list. "Weight gain, rapid pulse, elevated heart rate, yes, yes, " he muttered to himself. "Blushes easily, shy, mood swings, wants to talk about dating. I should have expected this."

"Should have expected what, Doctor Port?" asked Peach weakly, starting to feel sick with worry.

"Eh? My apologies, princess." Doctor Port looked up form his list and made a completely unsuccessful attempt to smile reassuringly at her. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. In fact, everything happening here is completely right and normal."

"Normal? But I feel so strange."

"I am very sorry. This is just a phase you're going through. I won't lie, you may be in for a rough time in the near future. But I promise it will pass. I'll give Toadsworth detailed instructions for your care and I'm sure he'll have you back on track in no time."

Peach felt herself starting to get frustrated, then angry, wanting desperately to ask why he couldn't give her her own care instructions. It wasn't that Toadsworth wasn't reliable, just that the best person to take care of her was, well, herself. Besides, how could it hurt to have one more pair of eyes watching out for her? But she couldn't do it. It' would sound like she didn't trust Toadsworth, which would hurt him terribly, and, despite how overbearing he could be at times, she couldn't do that to the old toad who'd raised her from a baby. Besides, what if the doctor said no? Did she have the will to command him and, even if she did, would he refuse. Peach felt something turn over in her stomach and started to feel sick. She was the ruler of the mushroom kingdom. She had to be. The thought that she was just a pretty puppet, all real power an illusion, was so unbearable. She worked so hard for her subjects. If it turned out they didn't trust her with anything, even her own health...

She could not challenge, being too afraid of losing. There was an itching pressure far back in her nose, a sign she was likely to cry, and Peach knew she needed to get out of here quickly. Dropping a deep formal curtsy, even in her hospital gown, as she thanked both doctor and nurse profusely, she began gathering up her clothes, hoping they would get the hint. They did but, as they left, both gave her what seemed to be knowing looks, which didn't make Peach feel better at all. Still sniffling, the princess changed back into her dress as quickly as possible, her gloved fingers fumbling on the zipper in her haste. No one ever wanted to tell her anything. Not the doctor, not Toadsworth, not even Mario, who couldn't even tell her if they were dating or not, which was something she deserved to know not just as a princess but as a person.

That thought pulled her up short. Why should she care so much if Mario thought of her as a girlfriend or not? It must be awfully important for her to get so worked up over it, on par with fearing her kingdom wasn't really hers. Fishing her dainty handkerchief out of her pocket, she wiped her eyes carefully as no one would see she might have been crying, even just a little. Was that it, what Nurse Bella kept harping on? "Maybe I'm in love with Mario," she whispered to the mirror in her compact as she made sure her make-up wasn't smudged. "Maybe I want him to kiss me." And then she felt an echo, a tiny quiver really, of the beautiful terror she had felt when she stood on the stool in the closet of Bowser's castle.

* * *

><p>"Well, spit it out then." Toadsworth glared at Doctor Port, almost bouncing in his chair in impatience.<p>

The doctor eyed him coolly, taking another long drink from his glass of brandy. "Try to calm yourself, sir," he admonished, reaching for a petti fore from the stacked glass display on the end table beside them. "You'll give yourself a heart attack if you keep on like this."

"Darn skippy, I will," Toadsworth cried, becoming even more agitated. "It's my precious little Peachy we're talking about, old chap, so hop to it."

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with the princess. She's just..."

"Balderdash! You expect me to believe that for one second?"

"No, I expect you to believe it permanently." The doctor spoke slowly, as if explaining to a small child. "The princess's life is not at risk in any way, shape, or form."

"Then why is she acting so weird? That's not my little Peachy, by cracky it's not."

"You're powers of deduction are astounding," Doctor Port said dryly, helping himself to more brandy and sweets. "Brace yourself and believe me when I say she is most definitely not your little Peachy anymore. The princess is becoming a woman with all that that entails."

"A grown woman and not my sweet little girl? Never again?" Toadsworth began to sniffle. "I remember when she was a just a wee baby and would make me do acrobatic tricks to amuse her all day long. I was so sore I could barely walk but I'd give anything to have those days back now." He blew his nose loudly and sobbed again.

"Pull yourself together, can't you? The Princess still needs you. This isn't going to be an easy time for her. It's up to you to provide her with what she needs most in her adult life."

"And what is that?" asked Toadsworth, mustache dripping, peering tentatively out from behind her handkerchief.

"A husband, of course."

"A husband? Oh no! No, no, no, no, no! No, I say. My little Peachy is far too young to marry. I positively forbid it."

"You can't keep her a child forever, no matter what you do. You may have fooled her mind, at least for now. But her body's grown up on its own and you're powerless to stop it. If you really love her, you'll try to find her someone who'll take care of her as well as you do."

"If I really love her," stammered Toadsworth. "I do, so..." He nodded resignedly before breaking down once more.


	6. The Secrets of a Kiss

So, even slower than usual. I'm moving into my new house in a little over a week so my life is a little crazy. Anyway, we've got some more character development here, some bitter sweet moments, and maybe even some plot development so I hope it will be worth the wait. I've got another chapter on deck so, hopefully, the next one will be faster but, with this house, no promises.

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><p><em>And just as the queen was about to be lowered into the lava for her crimes, Sir Koopalot came riding up on his magnificent white yoshi, smiting upon the right hand and on the left, felling all about him with his razor claws and fire breath, even, though he did not know it then, the two younger brothers of his close comrade, Koowain, where they stood beached and shell-less in protest at the execution. <em>

Peach felt a thrill go through her as she snuggled more firmly down on her stomach. The sunlight made a warm pool on the bed and lacy curtains stirred faintly in the warm spring breeze. Being rescued was something Peach knew well and enjoyed more than she cared to admit so she couldn't help identifying with the Queen as she read the book she had stolen from Bowser, justified by the fact that there was nothing she could do at the moment. She would make sure to return it the next time she was kidnapped, even going so far as to keep it on her person at all times to make sure it would not be left behind in such an event. But she never dared read it except alone in her room, lest someone discover what she had done. But it was hard, so very hard. The book had captivated her and was almost impossible to put down so that she stayed up late into the night reading, sometimes becoming dangerously groggy at important functions the next day, and every worse, she would steal away during the day, like now, to sequester herself with her stolen book. So obsessed had she become that, now, she hardly ever felt ashamed.

Gathering her puffy pink pillow more tightly under her chest, she turned the page. _And then Sir Koopalot freed the Queen from her chains and took her behind him on the yoshi and the wind was in her hair as they rode far away from that place. All that night they rode and, at the rising of the day, they halted on a hill with all the land spread out before them in the new light. And then they plighted their love, never to be apart again, as the air kindled into gold about them._

Peach sighed, drooping forward until her face rested on her crossed arms, something going round and round her stomach, almost as if it were full of little goldfish. The nurse clearly had been right, a kiss was exactly what she needed. Oh, but how? She knew absolutely nothing about kisses...other than the fact that she wanted one desperately badly. Rolling over onto her side, she grabbed the phone off her nightstand and hit speed dial.

"Oh my god, Peachy," Daisy squealed on the other end of the line. "It's been forever 'cause you got kidnapped. I didn't even get to see you at the bubulb festival and..."

"I know. I'm sorry," Peach cut in. Interrupting her was basically the only way to get Daisy to ever stop talking. "Look, I need to ask you...something," she finished lamely, feeling her face get hot.

"What is it, Peachy? I'm your best friend. You can always trust me. I'll never tell a soul, I swear I won't."

"I know. Thanks. It's like this...Daisy, have you ever been kissed?"

"Sure I have. All the time. Why, just last week...wait, why're you asking? You never been kissed, Peachy?"

"Of course I haven't. If I had I would have told you. But...see...I was hoping you could tell me how to do it."

"Oh, I see. Planning on doing it soon then?" Peach cringed at the shrewd guess. "Not to worry. It isn't nothing. So, get out one of your old dolls. One of the life-sized Toad baby dolls. Everybody had lots of those."

"Sure thing, Daisy," Peach mumbled, going over to open her closet door, the phone cradled against her shoulder.

"Did you have one the of the ones with the open mouth? You know, so you could bottle feed it?"

"Sure." Peach groped awkwardly among the shelves of toys, managing to knock some of them down on herself. "Oh, ouch."

"You okay there, Peachy? Good, get that one."

"I've got the doll. What do I do with it now?" Peach asked, glancing nervously back at her closet. Many of the toys were now on the floor in a jumbled mess, migrating forward into the room so the closet wouldn't even fully close. It would take hours to put them all back where they belonged.

"Okay, now you hold the doll up facing you and tilt it sideways so its' on an angle. Then you tilt your head the opposite way and lean in so your mouth fits with its."

"And?"

"That's pretty much it. I mean, when you're actually kissing you can move your mouth around with theirs but it doesn't work well with the doll because the doll doesn't move. Oh yea, I almost forgot, you can also put your tongue in their mouth and..."

"What? Why in the Underwear would I do a thing like that?" Dropping the doll in shock, Peach almost dropped the phone as well and had to scramble to get it back under control, by which point Daisy was already off on another monologue.

"...never heard you sear before. It's so naughty. Seriously though, guys dig the tongue in the mouth thing, except, well, maybe you should wait 'til he does it first so he won't think you're easy or something. Hey, can I call you back later? I've got a manicure appointment I need to head out to." After Daisy had hung up, Peach remained staring stupidly at the phone. Daisy was right, she had just said a curse word without even realizing it. Toadsworth would be so mortified. Catching sight of the doll lying next to her, she realized she was about to do something that could well scandalize him even worse. Felling like she was about to be sick, she picked up the doll and awkwardly angled it up to her face, but the lips were stiff and hard and it didn't feel good at all. She couldn't bring herself to put her tongue into the doll's mouth. Angrily, she tossed it back into the pile of toys, then flopped over onto her back and picked up her book again. But she had barely found her page before there came a knock on the door, followed by the familiar "It's a me."

"Come in, Mario," Peach called, frantically stuffing the book back into her pocket.

"Hi there Peach, you been a playing with your old toys?" he asked, glancing at the pile spreading from her closet door.

"No," Peach said, a little too quickly, refusing to look at him.

"Ah, spring a cleaning them? I remember when my a brother and me would a come to visit when were just babies. We would a play all day..." His expression spread into a happy, nostalgic smile.

"That was a long time ago," said Peach. It seemed like everyone just saw her as a child. So unfair and, apparently, so impossible to change.

"So it a was," Mario agreed, looking almost crestfallen. "You're always so a busy now. It almost seems a nice when you get kidnapped so we can have some down time. I'm so a sorry," he said quickly. "I didn't a mean to make light of it."

"No, it's okay," said Peach gently. "I know what you mean. I am free today though." She smiled as encouragingly as she could.

"I came to see if you were a all right. I heard you had a been to the doctor."

"Yes and he said I was fine so please don't worry."

"But I do a worry. The doctor may say you're fine but I can tell. Princess Peach, you aren't a happy. Is there anything I can do to a cheer you up?"

"Let's go for a yoshi ride," she blurted, thinking about the scene in the story that had made her feel so nice. It wasn't a white yoshi they rode on, those being incredibly rare, but one of a dark purple-blue color, but that really wasn't so important. Peach still felt nervous eagerness as she took her seat sideways, wrapping her arms around Mario's waist. The yoshi started off at a brisk trot and Peach delighted in the feel of the wind in her hair.

"Where do you a want to go?" asked Mario as they made their way around to the private entrance in the castle wall so they could slip out without alerting the guards or going through Toad Town.

"How about Shooting Star summit?" In addition to being a beautiful place, it was one location that almost insured privacy. No one ever went there except the elusive, slightly creepy mystics who lived in the house on the far side. But they almost never went outside, so she and Mario would be alone...alone like Sir Koopalot and the Queen in the story. Even when the sun was bright overhead, Shooting Star Summit seemed always to be in twilight, wrapped close in the soothing gray and purple clouds that gathered above it and Peach breathed deeply as they came under the shadow, feeling peace envelope her. The ground was covered in a carpet of lush moss and small shrubs in deep purple and pale blue so thick the yoshi's feet made no noise on it and, here and there, little pink flowers grew up on their curving stalks, brushing softly against her feet as they rode by. As the path wound back and forth up the hill, the yoshi flutter jumping easily from one ledge to the next, shooting stars came falling gently down. Shining, pearly white, they made a soft tinkling sound as they struck the ground and Peach felt her heart come into her mouth at the beauty of it.

At the summit, they dismounted and let the yoshi wander, looking for flowers and fruit, as they sat on the central rock. "It's so pretty," Peach whispered, scooting closer to Mario.

"Yes it is," he replied, but did not look at her or move closer.

"Was this where the star spirits came to speak to you?" she asked, slipping her hand into his and his fingers closed around hers very slightly.

"Yes and I'm a so glad we were able to rescue them so wishes could a come true again." A shooting star came down almost exactly at their feet, sending up a great shimmer of rainbow light as it dissolved on impact. "Why don't you a make a wish, Peach?" he asked, turning to look at her for the first time. "I bet a Twink is watching over you to make sure your wishes all come true."

Peach looked at the fading rays of the star, felt the closeness of Mario's hand around hers, gathering her courage. "I wish for you to kiss me," she blurted, then looked away in embarrassment.

"That's a an easy one. You deserve a something much bigger." She turned back towards him but kept her eyes close, not daring to watch, as he leaned in and planted a kiss on her forehead, so light and fleeting she could barely feel it. But, even so, Peach's whole body tingled, rang like the sound the falling stars made. Then, she turned her face up, waiting, but nothing further happened. Finally, Mario put his hand on her shoulder, rather awkwardly, patting it like it was the head of a large dog, and, in response, she flung her arms around his neck with all the the intensity the book described. "Peach, don't a choke me," he mumbled but she hardly heard as, blind, eyes still squeezed tight, guiding herself by feel alone, she leaned in to do as Daisy had taught her.

But, before she had even really begun, she felt Mario, gently but firmly, holding her at arms length. "Peach," he said quietly, "I don't a think we should be doing this. I know a people make jokes about us but don't a be getting all serious."

"What? Why?" Peach asked stupidly, her eyes now open but carefully focused on the hands crumpled in her lap.

"Well a, you're a Princess and I'm a plumber."

"You're not a plumber," she cried impulsively. "You're a hero. Princesses and heroes go together. No one in my kingdom thinks of you as a plumber or expects you to work as a plumber. I don't see why you do it at all," she finished, frustration giving an edge to her voice.

"I happen to a like working as a plumber," Mario replied, his tone still gentle but with more hurt and anger in it than he had ever directed at peach before. "Plumbing is what I was born to do, like you were a born to be a princess, and it will always come first with me."

She couldn't think of what to say to that and, afraid she would humiliate herself by crying, decided on, "Let's go back." Slowly, they rode home over the soft purple ground, through the glittering curtain of falling stars, their beauty no longer uplifting but painfully poignant, and, inside, Peach knew her heart was breaking.


	7. Calling all Suitors

Uh...slow as usual. I think I will always be slow. It just something about working online. Every time I get on the internet, I feel like I'm at work and can't exert the effort to log in to one more site. I actually had this done a month ago and just never up-loaded it. Yea, not good I know. Hopefully, the cat-fight action will help make up for this a bit.

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><p>"Awe, Peachy don't feel bad." Daisy gently stroked her friend's blond waves as she sobbed onto the table cloth, her face buried in her arms. Their friendly tea had quickly turned into an emotional scene when Daisy had questioned Peach about her kissing developments, forcing her to relive the pain of her rejection. "Look, Mario's not a great kisser anyway. Forget great, he's not even good. In fact, if anything, he's downright bad." The sobs grew quiet, pink silk shoulders stopped heaving, and Daisy congratulated herself on her quick thinking...until Peach raised her head, fixing her with a baleful glance far beyond anything she had thought those sweet blue eyes capable of.<p>

"How would you know?" Peach asked slowly and deliberately, her soft voice almost stony.

"Well...you see...there was that time when Tatanga kidnapped me...and Mario rescued me...and..."

"And neither of you though of mentioning this to me?" Daisy looked helpless as Peach glared at her. "You knew he had already rescued me multiple times. How could you?"

"See, I'd never been rescued before. Guess I got carried away. It only ever happened that once so I didn't think it was super important. Forgive me please, Peachy."

"I'll think about it." Peach stirred her tea savagely.

"Oh, I see," Daisy crossed her arms defensively. "It's all fine that Luigi helps rescue you all the time and Rosalina calls you his 'special one.' But as soon as Peach has to share the spotlight with someone else, it's not cool at all."

"Oh you don't understand. Mario said he wouldn't kiss me because I'm a princess. But you're a princess too. How does that work?"

"Maybe because I don't act much like a princess it's easier to forget."

"Underchomping right you don't. I've seen the way you act around guys and I'm sure _that's_ the real reason."

"Keep swearing like that and you won't seem much like a princess either."

"That's not the point. At least I'm still decent, even if I'm not proper and..."

But, before the conflict could deteriorate further, it was interrupted as Toadsworth cam waddling importantly across the lawn towards them. As he drew nearer, he coughed significantly. "You're pardon ladies. I hate to intrude but I have something to say of great importance. That is, I want to ask," he cleared his throat self consciously, "how are you on this fine day?"

"We're fine, thank you," Peach replied, keeping her eyes lowered to hide the fury still churning there.

"Well, mustn't beat around the bush then, must we? Lovely weather we're having, what? You're quite the fine young Ladies now. Yes indeed. Those little bunny rabbits over there are quite cute. What I'm trying to say is, Princess Toadstool, it's time for you to get married."

"Married?" Peach sighed dreamily. She felt in shock. This was beyond her comprehension. Of course, she'd know marriage was always looming somewhere somewhere off on the edge of the horizon but has always seemed much too far away to be real. Everything was rushing over her too fast, like a wave sweeping her away. And yet, she was excited too. Marriage would make all her dreams come true. Her husband would have no choice but to kiss her and...

"Oh, Peachy," Daisy squealed excitedly, grabbing her arm hard enough to leave finger prints. "I'm so thrilled for you."

"I would be honored to do my duty for my country and my people," she said quietly, hoping Toadsworth and Daisy didn't notice the way her cheeks were going as pink as her dress, thinking about what else marriage would entail: kisses, kisses, and more kisses.

"That's my girl," said Toadsworth, looking much relieved. "Good show what? I've got the invitation letters for your suitors already drawn up. With your permission, I'll have them sent out post haste."

Peach wrinkled her nose delicately. "Suitors? What suitors?"

"Why your suitors of course, my precious one. All the great kings and princes from across the the world. I won't even think of having any but the best try to marry my little Peachy."

"But, but." Peach could feel her lip starting to quiver. "I thought I was going to marry Mario."

"Yea." Daisy put her arm around Peach's waist to show solidarity. "He's the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom. Who could possibly be more worthy? What are you thinking there, Toadypants?"

"Now, ladies," Toadsworth said uncomfortably as he backed away, his mustache starting to droop. "There's no need to get your petticoats in a snarl. Mario's a great guy, top notch really. But he's still a plumber, born and bred. Remember, whoever the Princess marries will be king of the Mushroom Kingdom someday. Now, be honest, blossom, can you really see Mario as a king?"

"No." Peach slumped forward, defeated, but Daisy wasn't done yet.

"Hold on there, old stuffy," she cried. "Who cares about that? You don't need a king. Peachy can be the queen and Mario can be the Royal Plumber. He can make sure all the princess's pipes are in working order," she finished with a wink at Peach.

Toadsworth went purple and began sputtering the way the klown kar did when Bowser had forgotten to put enough fuel in it so that, despite the gravity of the situation, Peach had to struggle not to giggle. "You horrible girl," he cried, waving his finger under Daisy's nose. "You're a bad influence on my Peachy, you are. If I were in charge here you'd not set foot in this castle again."

"Good thing you're not." Daisy put her hands on her hips defiantly. "Now shove out, you old wind bag." And Toadsworth went, hobbling across the yard at a great pace, despite almost tripping on his cane in the process. But, when almost out of earshot, he turned and yelled back at them, "Just wait until the suitors arrive. Mark my words missyes."

"Ooh, he makes me so mad," Daisy grumbled, then, noticing that Peach as still sitting in silence, seemingly in shock from all that had happened so quickly, she said defiantly, "Don't worry, Peachy, we'll think of something."

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><p>Sweat rolled over Kamek's eye ridges and down his beak as his wizard's hat wilted into a shapeless mass on top of his head. After a hard day of work, he had retired to the employee lounge for some well deserved rest and was not pleased at all to find a collection of young hammer brothers had arrived just ahead of him, taking all the prime spots on the couch, and were blaring the evening news at top volume. But, in a matter of seconds, he had forgotten all about <em>that<em> for the news itself was something that, as soon as King Bowser heard of it, would postpone all thoughts of vacation indefinitely, possibly forever. It was so very, very tempting to just pretend he had seen and heard nothing, to slink off to his room and become obsessively interested in his research, even set off on an information gathering "field mission" and not come back for months...or years. But no, the storm would break sooner or later and, if later, the damage would be worse, worse for everyone, including his master whom, Kamek were forced to reluctantly admit, he still had paternal feelings for.

Bowser was in the midst of trying on a new costume of spikes and black leather, admiring himself in a full length mirror and, while he didn't mind an audience for his magnificence, Kamek was a bit old fashioned and didn't really approve of his style. Sure enough, he came in with the most horrible scowl on his face. "Well, look who's Mr. Happy," snarled Bowser, crossing his arms over his chest. "Did you come here just to rain on my parade?"

"Your Insensitiveness, please just listen...on the evening news...the Mushroom Kingdom..."

"What of the Mushroom Kingdom? Are those wimpy little toads upset because it was cloudy during their annual falling star viewing?"

"No, Lord Bowser. It's the princess. She's..."

"What?" roared Bowswer, actually taking his eyes off his reflection for that first time to look straight at Kamek. "What's happened to the princess? Is she sick. Has she been captured by X-nauts, possessed by an ancient demon, molested by a perverted computer?"

"No, nothing like that. It's something far worth. She's getting married."

All the roar went out of Bowser. His skin actually seemed to grow darker in color, as if the fire inside had been snuffed out. "She's going to what?" he asked in a slow, dead voice.

"According to the news, kings and princes from all over the known world are being invited to Toad Town so that the chancellor and the mushroom retainers can select one among them as a husband for the princess. And, before you ask, I'm afraid, your Unpopularness, that it looks like you weren't invited."

"What do I care about that?" snarled Bowser, belching black smoke and getting at least a little of his proper angry color back. "Do you think I actually want to compete with those royal losers for the princess's hand? She's _my_ princess. We're already married. This very idea is bigamous." Kamek stood in silence, watching his protege rant and rave and feeling the sweat trickle unpleasantly down the back of his robe. He had a wild, masochistic desire to ask, "What do you plan to do about it?" But, really, there was not point in rushing the fall of doom. It would come more than soon enough if he just waited. "Draft a letter," Bowser cried at last, waving his hands fiercely over his head. "Tell those measly mushroom retainers that, if they try to marry off my wife to any other man there will be serious consequences, dire havoc and destruction even."

"Yes, your Dictatorialness," Kamek mumbled as he went hunting in his pockets for a pen. "But, if you don't mind my asking, what kind of havoc and destruction were you thinking of?"

"I don't know, exactly. Those flimsy funguses are such cowards, I'm sure it won't even come to that."

"Of course not, Lord Bowser. But I'll start mobilizing the troops, just in case."

"Very good." Bowser grinned toothily, the shiny studs on his new outfit glinting menacingly in the dim light. But, inside, he felt a bit apprehensive. If they _did_ encounter resistance, would he be able to make good on a threat big enough to protect his princess? This was going to take serious planning and he was already so nervous that focusing would be difficult.


	8. The Suitors Arrive

So, as predicted, late. My computer with this file on it went down, just when I was going to upload :( Anyway, in this chapter we get to meet Peach's suitors. Sadly, I couldn't find as many names of royalty in the Marioverse as I would have liked. Hope it still works.

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><p>"So pleased you could make it, your Highness." Toadsworth bowed deeply before the King of the Grasslands, ushering him into the grand throne room of the Mushroom Kingdom.<p>

"Isn't he a bit old?" Daisy wrinkled her nose, making no effort to keep her voice down.

"Hush." Peach put her hand gently on her friend's arm. "He's a nice enough fellow with a pleasant little kingdom."

"But not to _marry_."

"No, but let's be polite." She greeted the King of the Grasslands courteously, even rising to drop a curtsy to him.

"Thank you, Sire. Do come again," said Toadsworth, hustling the king to the door to make way for the next suitor. Daisy yawned behind her hand and only a supreme effort of will prevented Peach from doing the same. All week suitors had been parading through the throne room as if it had a revolving door and, by this point, she, honestly, couldn't remember over half of the kings and princes Toadsworth had rushed past her. She could recall few such as Donkey Kong who had, apparently, convinced Toadsworth to take his title "king of swing" literally and that annoying Prince Peasly form the Beanbean Kingdom, who had strutted around for at least five minutes, tossing his unnaturally shiny and golden hair while Toadsworth was distracted making conversation with his mother, Queen Bean. Now, the Sammer King was being brought forward and she went through the motions of politness, now virtually on auto pilot, but, inside her mind, something was shutting down. Not one of the hundredes of suitors spoke to her. Not one called up the kinds of feelings she had read about in Bowser's book. Was her chance at romance slipping through her fingers even as she sat here?

"King Boo," the toad herald called, pounding his staff on the floor impariously.

"King Boo? Seriously?" cried Daisy in disgust. "This is an outrage. He's not even huminoid."

Toadsworth glared at her. "Just be glad I didn't invite the Goomba King," he snapped.

Peach shuddered. While, unlike Daisy, she genuinely tried to think the best of people, or boos for that matter, she couldn't deny that the way King Boo looked at her with his tongue dangling far out of his mouth made her feel downright creepy and, when he started to drool, she thought she might be sick. Fortunately, the interview didn't last long. "I hope the next guest is more pleasant," she thought desperately, as she watched the, litterally, disappearing back of King Boo.

"Para Kerry the mailman," the toad at the door announced and Peach breathed a sigh of relief, then sucked it back in quickly when she saw the sheer size of the bag he was hauling, so heavy he couldn't even get fully airborne. Every day, Para Kerry came to the palace to deliver the replies from the royals Toadsworth had invited (invariably yes) as well as requests from those who had been accidentally overlooked. She knew she should feel pleased that she was so popular, but Peach couldn't help cringing as Para Kerry dropped the bag at her feet, thinking how many more days of this she would have to sit through, just to see all the guests whose letters were in this bag alone.

Toadsworth was coming forward, rubbing his hands and seeming far more pleased than he had any business being. How could be be so happy about marrying her off? The truth of the the matter was that Toadsworth wasn't exactly happy, at least not deep down, but, after the initial shock, he had focused all his attention on the fact that his "little Peachy" was turning out to be the most desirable catch in the whole Mushroom World. For him, every letter was another triumph, another flimsy shield against despair and so he practically dove headfirst into the bag of mail.

Daisy tried to wave him away. "Those are Peachy's letters," she scolded. Toadsworth's mustache bristled with affront and he waved his stick imperiously as he prepared to deliver yet another lecture on Daisy's uppity ways. In response, Daisy put her hands on her hips and stuck out her chin, a saucy remark clearly loaded and ready to fire. These constant spats between the princess's caretaker and her best friend were one of the very few things to break the monotony of the suitors and one of the things that Peach disliked even more.

"Toadsworth, Daisy," she said, despite her best efforts her voice revealing how tired she was. "There are so many letters we'll never get through them all unless we work together. I need _both_ of you to help me." Thankfully, they dropped their quarrel at once and turned all their attention to helping her with the letters, which is what they had wanted to do in the first place. The first letter Peach opened was from Prince Peasly. "Hope you think I'm as amazing as I do. Xoxoxoxo," it said and the letter was decorated with pieces of shinny gold foil. Peach considered it in very bad taste and quickly tucked the letter into her purse before Toadsworth could see it and look at it as encouragement.

"Oh my," she heard Daisy say next to her. "Here's a letter from Bowser. Toady, you didn't invite Bowser, did you? You really better not have."

"Most certainly not," exclaimed Toadsworth in horror. "Madam, I'm offended that even you could suggest such a thing. Give me that horrid thing at once and I'll see it burnt on the spot."

"Toadsworth," I can't agree to that," said Peach gently, reaching out to take the letter from Daisy. "I know none of us like Bowser but he isn't a monster and we can't just go burning his letters. Answering him back is probably unwise but, at least, we shouldn't be disrespectful like that." And, quickly, before Toadsworth could object, she slipped the letter into her purse, alone with Peasly's letter, then placed the purse protectively between her hip and the side of the throne.

"Okay, Toads W." said Daisy, about two hours later. "Time to close the shop for the day. Peachy's exhausted," she went on quickly, before Toadsworth could object. "Look at her. She's about to fall over and she hasn't eaten all day. The bros and I will take her to get some dinner."

Toadsworth looked over at Peach and saw how pale she was, not her natural, pretty paleness but a dead white color, as if she had the flu, and there were lines around her eyes and mouth, showing she was stressed, possibly not getting enough sleep. "You're right, lass," he said reluctantly. "Just be careful now."

"No worries." Daisy tossed her head. "Mario's driving so it should be totally safe." They went to the brothers' favorite Italian restaurant, a long standing tradition whenever the four of them happened to be in the same place at the same time. It wasn't a fancy place, rough wood tables and benches, spread with red and white checked plastic clothes, candles stuck into old wine bottled, a resort for working class men and their families, but Peach had always found it charming and comfortable. Now, however, she felt unwelcome. This was Mario's world, where he belonged and she, as a princess, apparently, did not.

"So, what did you a think of the suitors?" asked Luigi, as they took their seats. Since he and Mario were usually standing guard outside the throne room during the receptions, they had seen most of the suitors but had not yet had a chance to talk to the girls about them.

"I don't know, there are so many," said Daisy excitedly. "But I thought Prince Pine showed promise."

"He is a good choice," Mario agreed. "But I prefer a Prince Mallow of Nimbus Land."

"Of course you do," said Daisy. "You helped him regain his kingdom. But don't you think he's a little young for Peach?"

"Mallow's not a that young," Mario protested and as Daisy made a tart rejoinder. Peach was secretly glad Daisy had said it so she didn't have to. Mallow was a good adventuring companion, despite his many annoying personality quirks, but she highly doubted she'd ever see him as anything except a kid. Still, wouldn't that be better than a total stranger?

"Who do a you prefer, Peach?" asked Luigi, but she shook her head.

"I don't know," she said. "Not yet anyway but I know who I don't like. I really hope they don't choose Peasly. I just can't stand him."

"A neither can I," said both brothers simultaneously, scowling over their mustaches.

"You deserve a the best, Peach," Mario added. "The council should be a more choosy about who they let in."

"I agree," Daisy squealed, almost upsetting her water in her aggitation. "I can't believe they actually let King Boo in of all people."

Mario looked sour. "I don't a like King Boo," he muttered.

Luigi laughed loudly, elbowing his brother in the ribs. "That's a 'cause you're afraid he'd going to a put you in another painting. Don't worry, bro. I'll come a save you again." He patted Mario condescendingly on the head.

Mario punched him in the shoulder. "You? You were a scared stiff the entire time. King Boo gives you a nightmares."

"Yes but I still a saved you, didn't I?" Peach tuned out the sibling rivalry and began glancing around the restaurant. At the table to their left, a couple was eating a single strand of spagetti, leaning closer and closer, until they met for a kiss and, at another, they were feeding each other from their goblets of gelato, while soulful violin music wafted through the air. Peach felt something ache inside of her. Italians had always seemed so romantic, at least to her eyes. Why did Mario have to be such an exception? Then, even more painful, came the realization that he _wasn't_ an exception. She'd seen how passionate he could be about rescuing her, about his plumbing, about the sports he played. He just didn't feel that way about _her_. Was it just because she was a princess? If she had been a common girl, would they have been happy together? Would giving up her status and birth right really be wroth it for her to feel true love?

A loud excalmation from Daisy startled Peach out of her disturbing train of thought. "But you don't even know the half of it yet," she cried, waving her hands frantically. "_Bowser_ sent Peach a letter too."

"That's a sick," said Mario, pausing with his fork halfway to his mouth. "Why can't he a leave her alone."

Luigi nodded. "We'd better a keep an extra close eye on her, bro," he said, "in case he tries to a kidnap her again."

"That would be way ahead of schedule," Peach thought to herself, wearily. "He usually gives me at least a couple months off."

"It's outrageous, isn't it?" Daisy went on. "Bowser married to Peachy? It's such a rediculous notion." The brothers nodded emphatic agreement but, even so, Peach did not miss the subtle glances they exchanged and desperately hoped they weren't thinking what she was thinking: that, according to a certain school of thought, she _was_ married to Bowser. Sure, almost any court in the world would agree that being under magical hypnosis at the time would render the ceremony invalid. By unspoken agreement, she and the brothers were careful never to speak of the event and, without their support, Bowser alone alone couldn't make a case anyone would respect. But still, the situation always made her a little nervous.

Finally, the evening drew to a close. The other three were in fine spirits, laughing and chatting over their final sips of wine and nibbles of biscotti. Not that that was surprising. After all, they weren't the ones getting married off to a stranger. For them, this was just a fun dinner with friends. The bill came and Peach reached into her pocket for her purse, only to discover it wasn't there.

"What's wrong, Peachy?" asked Daisy, noticing her friend's troubled look.

"I can't find my purse."

"Maybe you a put it under your chair," said Mario, getting up to look.

"It's no biggy," said Daisy when he came up empty handed. "You probably just left it in the throne room."

"Probably," Peach agreed reluctantly. "But I feel bad about the bill."

"Not a to worry. We've got you a covered." Mario reached into his pocket and pulled out a pile of shiny gold coins. Peach smiled, thinking what wonderful friends she had. Yes, her longing for romance was strong but she wasn't sure she wanted to marry if it meant giving up these special times with her friends. Certainly, she didn't want to risk that for anyone who was anything less than the answer to all her dreams.


	9. Letters

This lateness is really getting epic. My only excuse is that I lost part of this chapter and had to recreate it as best I could. I'm not altogether happy with the results but it's what I had. Also, I've switched to using a dictation program to compose so there may be a temporary increase in things that look like typos because I'm still teaching it how to obey me (I know how could my typos be WORSE). Mostly character/background here but one important plot development is lurking.

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><p>Alone at last in the great throne room, Toadsworth glanced around cautiously before fishing Peach's purse out from among the cushions on the throne. How fortunate that she had forgotten it when she went off to dinner. He had to get that horrible Bowser letter away from her somehow. Who knew what might happen is someone <em>else<em> found the letter in her possession. His little Peachy was far too innocent of the ways of world, certainly too innocent to be married as he'd known all along. How would she ever cope with her husband's... Toadsworth shuddered. The thought was far too horrible to contemplate. He just had to find the perfect man, one who would take proper care of her, treat her like fragile glass. He thought he might have found one but...

Toadsworth eased open the zipper on Peach's purse and reached inside, fumbling among make-up, calling cards, hankies, and other proper princess accoutrements. Such a sweet girl but so naive. She was always harping on him about the need to treat Bowser better, even invite him to court functions sometimes, as if any amount of kindness could ever stop the war with the Darklands. Of course it made him happy that his girl had such a big heart but would it hurt her to think of her public image, even once in a while? Toadsworth was kept so busy dong damage control for her generosity that, sometimes, he felt like he was at the end of his rope. Certainly, he would need a good long glass of brandy to calm his nerves after this.

Finally, there it was. He felt the crumpled paper of the letter in the corner of the purse and quickly fished it out. But what was this? Not one letter, but two. The first was the offending document from Bowser, which Toadsworth immediately tossed into the fireplace. But the second? This one had already been opened. Funny that Peach hadn't said anything about it. Then he turned it over and froze. The letter was from Prince Peasly, the very man Toadsworth had thought would be perfect for his princess. The fact that she had kept his letter close, tucked away like that, must mean she liked him too. And her silence? "She must be shy," Toadsworth mused, feeling a warm glow spread through his stomach, down to his toes.

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><p>The fact that she had chosen the self-same candidate as himself must mean it was meant to be and that made him feel just the tiniest bit better. There was some real hope here that she'd be happy and well taken care of. Deciding he'd done a good day's work, Toadsworth hurried off to his room for an evening of brandy, macaroons, and watching the fire on the hearth.<p>

Bowser paced impatiently up and down the throne room, almost running into Kamek several times as he stood in the middle of the room.

"You're imperiousness, please watch where you're going," cried Kamek, failing to move quite fast enough and wincing as Bowser trod on his toes.

"This is outrageous," roared Bowser. "Why have those foolish funguses is not sent me a reply yet?"

"Perhaps because you only sent the letter a little over a day ago," suggested Kamek, with a patience he did not feel. "The messenger will hardly have been able to even reach them yet."

"Ah ha." Browsers swung around and, mercifully, came to a standstill. "Now I know what the problem is."

"And what is that, your crankiness?"

"You need to get me faster messenger's," snarled Bowser, after which there was an uncomfortable silence while Kamek pondered all the things he might say, trying to find the one that would result in the least bodily injury. But, before he could, the silence was broken by the loud sound of Bowser's phone ringing.

"At last," cried the Koopa King, diving for the device where he had left it on the arm of his throne. "It must be those measly mushrooms coming to big for my mercy." He flipped open the phone. "Hello, this is the evil King Bowser."

"B money, it's your peep, King K. just checkin' in to see what's down with you and the Princess and if there isn't nothin' I can do to help because..."

Bowser screamed in rage and threw the phone across the room, where it smashed against the wall. "How in the Underwear did that fool get my number?" he fumed.

"It 's in the castle directory and telephone tree," said Kamek, blandly. "And..."

"Well take it out of the castle directory and telephone tree. Take it out, right now."

"Right away, your excitableness. But I should remind you that that phone was a gift from your son and he'll be very crushed when he finds you've broken it."

"Er... Yes, I see which you mean," Bowser mumbled uncomfortably. "While you're at it, get me another phone of the same model. He'll never know the difference."

"As you command, Lord Bowser." Privately, Kamek highly doubt that Prince Ludwig would be fooled, especially when he noticed the play list of his personal compositions he had painstakingly downloaded to the phone was no longer present. Hopefully, he, Kamek, would be a long ways away when that happened. In the meantime, he tried to do what he'd come to do in the first place which was discussed strategies for the probably upcoming war with Bowser. But, his master was so enraged by a combination of the mushroom Kingdom's tardy response and this latest disaster involving King K. that it was impossible to get him to discuss anything coherent. "Perhaps you should lie down, your Vindictiveness," he said at last, with a sigh.

"Lie down? Like a weakling? I have a battle to plan, an insolent koopa to pulverize, timid toads to intimidate."

"Of course, but you want to be at your best . Being so angry and frustrated like this will only get in the way and undermine you form being the truly great koopa you could be." Kamek was well aware of how stupid he sounded but he wanted the audience to end, immediately, or even sooner. Bowser looked at him with a raised eyebrow, as if he might be considering what he was saying. "A brilliant tactician must keep a cool head," offered Kamek encouragingly, then let out his breath in a great sigh of relief, as his master turned and stormed through the doors leading to his private apartments.

At first Bowser just stamped around the room, fuming over King K's audacity and wondering how he had managed to get his personal number. Even if it was listed in the castle directory, one of his employees would still have had to give it to him. Eventually, he decided to go through his entire address book to determine who the culprit might be and then give them a royal piece of his mind. But, as he settled into his writing desk, where his address book was stored, something else caught his eye: A green gilded box shaped like a spiked koopa shell, closed with an elaborate padlock. Slowly, he opened it, feeling his stomach twist as he gazed at the crumpled pile of papers inside the ones on top were of small importance, just the incredibly banal and awkward courtship letters his wife had been, by tradition, required to write him. As he removed them, Bowser shuddered, remembering the equally banal and awkward letters he had had to write in response. He had no desire to read these letters and relive the unpleasantness they chronicled but, as he shoveled them out, one happened to fall open and his eyes picked up the words as he moved it away with the rest

_Great Lord Bowser. I must write again how deeply honored I am to have been chosen as your bride, a privilege every koopa girl dreams of. I am undergoing intense training in entertaining and hospitality so I can be a credit to you as a hostess. It takes up a lot of my time but I believe it is more than worth it I did get a chance to go to Chocolate Island with a few of my friends the other day. What __do you like to do? What do you like to eat? I promise to serve your favorite food for breakfast every morning Your Dearest Claudia. _

Bowser cringed. She have never gotten over being so straightforwardly dull and boring. Not that it mattered since, even if she had been the most beautiful and intelligent koopa ever, he still would have hated being married to her because she wasn't Peach. He'd always done his best to be civil to her but civility wasn't enough. She could sense he didn't love her and things gradually became more and more awkward, even hostile, between them. It certainly wasn't a part of his life he ever cared to revisit but he kept her letters for one reason and one reason only. Their presence in the box marked it clearly as "private." If anyone was stupid enough to look in the box, finding it full of letters to the Koopa King from his wife would convince them to shut the box and back away slowly. Claudia's letters were nothing more than a shield for the the treasure at the bottom of the casket: letters which, over the years, Bowser had written to Peach, written but never dared send.

He pulled out one at random. _My dearest Peach, my first son hatched today. He's absolutely adorable. You'd love him. I think you would make a wonderful mother, just the kind of mother my son needs. You're so gentle and caring. Being a father is amazing but I want to share it with you. I wish you could be here to watch my son grow up and... _ Bowser pushed the letter aside, lacking the heart to read more. After a moment, he reached for another. This one was written in childish scratches and was probably one of the first things he had ever written. _Princess Peach, you so pretty. I want to kidnap you over and over all day long. _ Another, written after he had been defeated a few times by Mario: _What makes that plumber so much better than me, seriously, princess? I'm tall and strong, while he is squat, fat, and wears overalls, even to formal parties. Is that any way to treat a princess? He can't even show respect for your royal status. Plus, I command an army, I have a kingdom. What does he have? A wrench. Which of us can support you in the style you deserve? I _am_ worthy princess. I try my hardest to be._

Bowser stood up abruptly. This wasn't helping him relax and prepare for the coming battle in the slightest. He wasn't angry any more, just depressed, a most unmanly state for a koopa like himself. All these letters, letters, letters everywhere, and none of them had made the slightest difference. The fact that no one but himself knew they existed was just nitpicking to Bowser. Defeated, he sank down on his bed, the bed where his children had been conceived. He shuddered and searched quickly for something to replace the unpleasant images, almost at once finding one that was far more appealing and disturbing: editing out Claudia and putting Peach in her place. This was all King K's fault Bowser thought furiously and here he was back at square one.


	10. A plan

The council finally picks a husband for Peach and the aftermath. I apologize for the shortness of my last entry and hope this one is more satisfying. Also, I apologize for not updating sooner. I basically had this all ready to go and just forgot to log on, which I will try not to let happen again. I realize this isn't much a plot twist with all the foreshadowing that went before but I hope it's still fun.

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><p>At long last the parade of suitors was over. Peach was utterly exhausted, draped limply over a lawn chair in her small private garden as Daisy hovered protectively nearby, offering her a glass of cold lemonaid. "Sorry I had to leave for those few days," said Daisy in a subdued tone. "I came back as quickly as I could."<p>

"What happened?" asked Peach quietly, reaching for her drink.

"Oh Sarasara Land had some kind of 'state crisis.' I don't know what it was but, apparently, I needed to make an appearance to calm everyone down."

"Doesn't it bother you that you have so small a role in running your own kingdom?"

"Naw." Daisy shrugged. "I have more time for fun this way. Why? Does it bother you?"

"It never did before but, recently, it's been bothering me a lot."

"Why don't you do something about it then? For example, tell old Toadswaddle that you're not going to let him pick a husband for you."

"Oh, I couldn't. I don't really care for any of the suitors so what's the point of picking. If the husband I want won't have me, I might as well make Toadsworth happy."

"Peachy are you still mad at me, for kissing Mario I mean?"

"No, I'm too tired and worried to be mad."

"But afterwards?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll be happy in my marriage and won't care anymore."  
>"I hope so. I really hope you'll be happy, Peach. Only..." Daisy looked even more worried than she had a moment before. "Only once you're married you won't have as much time for your friends."<p>

"Who knows? If I don't like my husband I may need even _more_ time with my friends to make up for it."

"This suspense is awful. Why doesn't Toadswaddle hurry it up?"

"I'm sure he and the council want to make the very best decision possible."

"Humph!" Daisy crossed her arms and sniffed contemptuously. "If he really wanted to make the best decision, he'd ask your opinion."

"Toadsworth _did _try to ask one day during tea. At least he sort of tried but he was so embarrassed and fumbled around so much that it was almost impossible to understand. But I'm pretty sure that's what he meant."

"And?"

"I couldn't bring myself to say I didn't like any of them so I didn't say anything at all."

"Wonder how he liked that."

"It was odd." Peach slumped back down in her chair. "He said it was totally proper for me to be so secretive and shy but he knew what I really wanted and would do his best to make it happen."

"That is weird. You think he secretly plans to marry you to Mario?"

Peach shook her head. "Can't be. Not after he got so upset the first day." Just then, they heard the garden gate creek open and Toadsworth came hurrying in.

"It's polite to knock before entering a private garden," said Daisy tartly.

Toadsworth ignored her and went over to embrace Peach, not sobbing but still clearly overcome with emotion. "My little Peach Blossom, I'm so happy for you," he crooned into the princess's blond hair.

His reassuring squeeze seemed to release some of the tension inside Peach and she let fly with a giddy giggle. "Thank you so much, dear Toadsworth," she cried with excitement. "But please, tell us, who is it?"

"Come now, haven't you guessed already? It's Prince Peasly of course."

Peach's arms fell and she took a step back, her face washed white. "Prince Peasly," she whispered. "No."

"You're not happy?" Toadsworth looked confused. "But..but...you...I found...I mean...I thought..." Frantically he struggled for a plausible explanation for why he assumed Peach favored the prince without revealing who he had snooped in her purse. "You seemed to like him," he finished lamely.

"You bumbling idiot," shrieked Daisy. "Peasly was one of Peach's absolute _least_ favorite suitors. You just hop on over to the council chamber and tell the retainers the wedding is off. Hurry now." Toadsworth turned pleading eyes on Peach, begging her to say it wasn't true.

"Daisy's right," Peach said coldly. "Call off the wedding." A jolt went up her spine. She was doing it, setting her will against that of her councilors and now everyone would know who was the real ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom.

"But, precious, I can't do that. We already mailed the letter to Prince Peasly. If we later reveal that we have to cancel the offer, especially if it's because you don't like him, what an insult that would be. The Bean Bean Kingdom might even go to war with us."

"Which wouldn't be such a tragedy if your army wasn't a total joke," said Daisy, rolling her eyes.

"No, he's right." Peach looked at the floor in despair. "You should not have done this without consulting me but, now that you have, getting out of it won't be so easy." Toadsworth's mustache twitch as he mumbled something that might have been an apology but also could have been, "I know, that's why I did it."

In the uncomfortable silence, Daisy pulled out her phone and began making calls. Through her depression, Peach gave her a half-hearted questioning glance. "I'm calling Mario and Luigi. We need to have a meeting. A _private_ meeting," she finished, looking pointedly at Toadsworth.

"But ladies, Prince Peasly has many excellent qualities, a fine chap really. It can't be that bad, can it, princess?" He looked imploringly at Peach.

"That is beside the point," she replied and the new, imperious edge to her voice made Toadsworth decidedly uneasy. "I am very disappointed in the way you've managed this situation. I think you'd better go." And he shuffled off like an old dog going to hide in a corner and, despite how distressing it was to see him so down, Peach also felt a stab of elation that her command was being obeyed. It turned out the brothers were at a plumbing job so Daisy's emergency meeting couldn't take place for a couple hours but, finally they were all together in Peach's room with the doors locked, the meeting being too top-secret for a restaurant and, for added security, they all huddled together under the canopy of Peach's oversized bed and spoke in hushed tones, just in case someone had their ear to the keyhole.

"This is a tough nut to a crack," mused Luigi after Daisy had brought him up to speed on the situation in a tense whisper. "The trick is to come up with a reason you can't a marry Peasly that has nothing to do with the way you feel about him."

"That's a very good idea," replied Peach gently, "but I have no idea what reason we could possibly use. He's a great catch in every way except for being completely insufferable."

"That's a so," Luigi agreed and they all sank back into gloom.

"That's it," cried Daisy, leaping excitedly and almost upsetting the plates of snacks set out on the bed.

"I thought you wanted us to a keep our voices down." Mario winced, putting a hand to his head.

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry." Daisy quickly lowered her voice but still kept speaking a mile a minute. "If Peach were already married then she couldn't marry Peasley. It's brilliant."

"But she's a not," Mario objected, poised to grab his plate in case Daisy made any more sudden movements.

"That's where the two of you need to elope tonight." Daisy grinned, sure that she'd found the perfect solution to her friend's problem.

"No." Mario did not even hesitate as he spoke.

"What did you say?" Daisy's voice was starting to go up in volume again.

"I said a no."

"But why a not?" Asked Luigi looking confused.

"I've a served the mushroom Kingdom for years. I've always tried to a do what's best for the princess and I see absolutely no reason why this marriage would not be a good for her."

"Because I don't want it," cried Peach in desperation. "How much of this is really your dedication to serving me and my Kingdom and how much of it is your desire to not marry a princess?"

"If you're going to a get all sore about that then I can't a help you."

"Please don't fight you two." Daisy tried desperately to soothe situation. "We need to think of something. Though I still thought my idea was pretty good."

The other three continue to argue back and forth while Peach sat and nursed her hurt feelings. At first she was too depressed to pay much attention to what they were talking about but gradually she began to listen to their conversation and, realizing that they were no nearer to solving a problem than they had been before, she felt panic start to grow in her again and wondered frantically if there was anything she could do. Why did Mario have to be so noble or stubborn or whatever his problem was? Daisy's idea sounds like a perfectly good plan and successfully circumvented Toadsworth's objections. Part of her would almost have like to has seen his face when she told him what happened. There was that strange feeling again. Even in her extremity she was still having these un-warrented malicious thoughts. Just like she had the whole time when she had been kidnapped the last time.

Like cold water thrown over her, she realized that she could still use Daisy's plan if she really wanted to. According to some schools of thought (Bowser), she was already married and they would never hesitate to back her up on that claim. If she wanted to, she could be free. All she had to do was come clean about what had happened on their last adventure. But that would mean taking another husband, a husband, at least in the eyes of everyone around her, a hundred times worse than Prince Peasley. Peach shuddered and decided Mario might be right. She would follow his advice, accept her fate, and trust that her counselors knew what was best for her but it wasn't an easy choice and she didn't see how she could ever forgive him for having forced her to make it.


	11. Preparations

Yes, this is late. It's very late. However, I'm not going to abandon the story. I made a promise to myself that I would never abandon a story on after I got annoyed about so many of my favorite stories being abandoned (I originally promised myself that I wouldn't start uploading a story until I had finished writing it to make sure there was no risk I wouldn't finish it but that didn't quite work out). So, there WILL be another update, even if it takes another six moths to appear. I feel I'm in a position right now where finding the time and brain space to produce good writing is difficult and I would rather take longer and do a good job than rush it. I hope that makes up for the slowness a little.

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><p>Peach fidgeted uncomfortably as the measuring tape was pulled tight around her waist. A group of toad seamstresses were busily measuring her for her wedding gown...just as they had been on and off for the past week and she was growing increasingly tired of dealing with wedding preparations. All she wanted to do was forget that this was even happening. Crossing her arms in frustration, she stared out the window, searching for something to alleviate the boredom.<p>

"Is something wrong, princess?" asked one of the maids, not looking up as she measured the hemline.

"Why would you think something was wrong?" Peach used her best princess voice and kept her face frozen in the hopes that they wouldn't find out what was in her mind. In some ways, this was even worse than the looming wedding itself, this having to pretend that it wasn't a problem. The strain was making her feel sick and the angry feelings and restlessness she had felt while she was kidnapped became stronger and stronger as she felt her life like a cage closing in around her. "I'm not a good person anymore," Peach thought with shame. "I lie all the time and after I'm married my entire life will be a lie." But she couldn't think of a way to escape.

She no longer read Bowser's book. Reading about the beautiful romance that she now knew she would never have was just too painful, though she still kept it close to her in case she got the chance to return it. In fact, she found herself wishing that he would come kidnap her again as a way to escape, at least temporarily, from everything that she was going through right now. It would be so wonderful to not have to eat sleep breathe and think wedding even for a day. One of the maids pricked her with a pin as she tried to fasten the tissue paper patterns around Peach's body and the princess winced but said nothing. Sometimes it frightened her, this ability to suffer in silence. She didn't know where it had come from and, now that it was here she didn't know how to get rid of it

Preparations continued day after day, seemingly endlessly. When it wasn't dress fittings it was cake tastings. Peach found herself gagging at the thought of eating anything sweet, even though she had formerly loved such things. To make matters worse the bakers all felt that they need to make their cakes peach flavored or decorate them with peaches made of frosting or sugarcoated peaches or the very least peach blossoms. Plainly, they thought it was cute and, once upon a time, Peach would have too. Now it just wore down her nerves even more. But still she nodded and smiled politely, doing her best not to grimace when eating her fifth peach flavored cake in half as many days while, all the while, she kept an ear tuned listening for something beyond the bakers' chatter, looking out the window with half an eye.

Gradually, to her horror, it dawned on her that she was straining for sight or sound of the Klown Kar. She wanted to get kidnapped. But, for once, Bowser declined to accommodate her and Peach decided she deserved it for having horrible thoughts like these in the first place. If she were kidnapped, she wondered, would Mario come to rescue her? But that thought made her angry. She didn't need rescuing from Bowser who had never done her harm. She needed to be rescued from this horrible marriage and Mario wasn't willing to save her from that. Bitterly, Peach decided he couldn't be a real hero. It was the real hero's job, after all, to rescue the princess from her unwanted match. And then Peach thought about what it would mean to be married to Peasly, she thought about having to kiss him at the wedding, how he would flip his hair and make it clear that nothing could be more perfect than the union of two such perfect people and, at that thought, Peach felt like she was going to gag and quickly excused herself so the bakers wouldn't think she was gagging over their cakes though, of course, she wanted to do that as well.

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><p>Bowser fumed to himself, drumming his fingers on the arm of his throne. The preparations of the army for the assault on the Mushroom Kingdom was progressing at an agonizingly slow pace. He had secretly had his number changed to avoid any calls from King K. or other unwanted persons but that has provided only a momentary diversion. Of course, he could've just gone and kidnapped Peach again. It would have been much faster. But then, that pesky plumber would just come rescue her again. Besides, simple kidnapping would not suffice this time. He wanted to make a great example, to show everyone once and for all that Peach was his one true love.<p>

But such things take time. All the forges, foundries, and mad scientists labs in Bowser's domains were working overtime to ensure his troops were supplied with the most state-of-the-art weapons possible. All the armed forces were out and drilling every day, learning new maneuvers, and being constantly reminded they must keep the power-ups that they were issued on their persons at all times so Mario would not have a chance to steal them. Bowser enjoyed watching his troops marching in formation but it was getting a little old. Likewise, it was usually fascinating to hear about the new spells that Kamek and his magikooas were trying to develop in the sorcerer's laboratory. But never before had Bowser realized how incredibly slow magical research was. Normally, they only came to him when they had something exciting to report but now that he had ordered them to report every day he only got the minutia of complex experiments that were incredibly boring and impossible to understand or nothing at all, which was worse. Bowser was not a patient person but it was worth it for Peach. He would have to learn to be patient.

As he sat there, trying not to fidget, one of his paratroopa spies came hurrying in. "Lord Bowser," he cried, out of breath. "I have important news."

"Well, hurry up about it," cried Bowser, before the paratroopa had a chance to say anything further. "I can't believe how you come in here just to stand around and waste my time."

"Of course, Lord Bowser," the other mumbled apologetically. "I have discovered that the princess is to be married to Prince Peasley and, therefore, the wedding will take place in the Bean Bean Kingdom.

"The what?" cried Bowser in frustration. "Are you trying to tell me that all of the battle plans I've made for attacking the Mushroom Kingdom are useless now?"

The soldier looked around nervously. "Uh… what's going to happen if I say yes?"

"Oh never mind." Browsers gripped the arms of his chair in frustration. "Just get Kamek in here." As the paratroopa hurried away, Bowser put his hands to his skull, detecting a headache already beginning and concluded that he should be careful what he wished for. Now he had plenty to keep them occupied: he had an entirely new battle plan to write from scratch. It would have been so much easier to just kidnap Peach instead of wasting time and resources planning and all out attack. Nevermind the fact that, despite Kamek's best efforts to reassure him, he was paranoid they would take too long and the wedding would be over before they arrived. But he couldn't do it. Peach deserved better than just being kidnapped again. This wasn't just an insult to his own honor but to hers as well and, in order to be worthy of her, he must show he was willing to stand up and defend it, even if that meant doing horrible things like learning how to be patient.

As he was contemplating these noble, yet painful, thoughts, Kamek arrived, the dark circles under his eyes and greenish cast of his skin indicating his overworked status. "You don't look so good," said Bowser uneasily. "Are you sure you're getting enough sleep?"

Kamek exploded. "No, I'm not getting enough sleep," he cried in exasperation. "How could I when you have me slaving day and night to make one-up mushrooms that are toxic to humans but not to koopas? And now, because I've had to leave the potion I had brewing, it will probably be ruined and I'll have to start all over. What was so important anyway, that it couldn't wait?" Bowser kept his temper with difficulty. Kamek was insulting of course but, right now, there was no time for putting his advisers in their proper places. Instead, he contented himself with speaking as if he were explaining things to an ignorant child while he brought Kamek up to date on his most recent intelligence.

"The problem," said Kamek, after he considered the situation for some time, "is that our army's greatest advantages come with secrecy."

"I know that," fumed Bowser, who had been about ready to burst with impatience during his adviser's deliberation and now had an unpleasant suspicion that Kamkek was talking down to _him._ "Are you implying I don't know how my own army works?"

"No, just that we have to cross a lot of ground to get from the border mountains to the Bean Bean capital. It will completely blow our cover." Bowser sat with his arms folded, muttering bitterly to himself as Kamek continued to expound on all the new difficulties this change of location would involve. If only he could just kidnap her the normal way. He could fly in his Klown Kar to Bean Bean Castle or pretty much anywhere else to grab her up before anyone was the wiser. Too bad his army was too big to fit in the Klown Kar. Even the Koopa cruiser couldn't hold much more than a single battalion. Still, attack by air was the way to go for secrecy. Gradually, Bowser began to get an idea. "I do have the best mechanics and engineers in all the Mushroom World, do I not?" He said and almost laughed at the look of utter horror on Kamek's face as realization dawned.

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><p>Next chapter (whenever that is) will be the wedding. Also, the koopalings will probably make an appearance for those of you who like that kind of thing.<p> 


	12. Before the Altar

Slow and steady wins the race, no? No. Just trying to make myself feel better. Anyway, for those of you who like plot, this chapter has plot aplenty. I'll update again right on schedule...sometime before the next eclipse.

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><p>Daisy pinned back a lock of the princess's golden hair, trying to keep a smile pasted on her face.<p>

"Thanks." Peach gave her friend a wan smile, reaching back to clasp her hand.

"You don't have to do this you know," Daisy said fiercely as she continued arranging Peach's up-do.

"Yes I do. Because I'm not willing to pay the price of not doing it." Daisy shook her head and Peach knew she was thinking of the diplomatic cost which she was more than happy to allow Daisy to go on thinking. But, in reality, she was thinking about the secret that she and the brothers shared with Bowser. While Daisy laced up the back of her elaborate silk gown, while she pinned Peach's veil to her hair and handed her her bouquet, that was what Peach was thinking about. It no longer mattered whether she was "legally" married to Bowser or not. All that mattered was that it was possible to make a convincing case that she was. It would only take a few words but Peach was sure she would never say them. She couldn't quite convince herself that Bowser was better than Peasley.

"Oh Peachy, you look beautiful," said Daisy sadly as she smoothed out the final wrinkles and her friend's train. Peach shrugged. Honestly, she had no idea what she looked like. She knew her gown was constructed to have an underlayer of pale pink that shone faintly through the white and that her bouquet was a combination of little blue flowers to match her eyes and, what else, peach blossoms. But, beyond that, she drew a blank. Although she had spent the past month or so almost constantly in front of mirrors she now realized that she had spent the whole time looking without seeing. Probably, that was how she would spend the rest of her life, trying not to see the reality of her disturbingly golden husband beside her.

While Peach was contemplating these melancholy prospects, there was a knock on the door: Mario, come to escort her to the ceremony. The bitter irony of this fact was almost more than Peach could stand. Holding her head high, she did not speak as she followed him and Daisy was equally imperious as she came behind holding the train.

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><p>"Are we there yet?" asked Bowser impatiently, drumming his fingers restlessly on the arm of his chair.<p>

"Would you relax?" His son, Iggy, called back from the cockpit of the new flying koopa tank. "I am an engineering genius. Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do," replied Bowser in a tone conveying absolutely no confidence at all. "It's just that...can you make this thing go any faster?"

"We're already the fastest thing in the sky right now. How much faster do you want to go?"

"All I'm saying is the wedding better not already be over by the time we land."

"Nut'n ta worry 'bout," said Ray smoothly from his seat beside his father. "They won't have the slightest clue we comin' and, once we land, we kin take 'em in no time at all."

"What if Mario's there?" squealed Wendy, not looking up from the hand-held mirror she was using to reapply her lipstick.

"My dear sibling, pray do not be dense," Ludwig called from his seat by the window. "_Of course_ Mario will be present. Becoming agitated about it will solve nothing." Wendy glared at him. "And do you really think that's necessary? We are waging war. A beauty regime is hardly required."

"We're attending a wedding," Wendy snapped back. "Obviously, I have to look my best."

As his children continued to squabble, Bowser cringed. This flight was starting to seem very long indeed. "Are we there yet?" he yelled to Iggy.

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><p>"We're almost there," Mario called reassuringly from the front seat of the carriage in which Peach and Daisy were riding. Peach said nothing. She knew the Bean Bean Kingdom as well is he did so she was already aware of how close they were to the castle. Besides, since she would have been just as pleased if the trip never ended, arriving soon was not really a prospects that excited her. By now they were already pulling up to the grand doors of the castle with rows of joyous beanish people lining both sides of the street, cheering for their future queen and making it impossible for her to make a dash for freedom. Mario stopped the carriage directly in front of the steps, resplendent in a new red carpet. Descending from the carriage with slow dreamy movements as if she were in a trance, Peach stood on the carpet will Daisy arranged her train behind her like a white wave. Mario came to stand beside her and she was afraid he was going to offer her his arm so she made a great show of properly positioning her hands on her bouquet and he seemed to forget the idea. Instead, he stood with his hands folded in front of him. Peach looks at his white gloves, thinking bitterly about her conversation with the toad nurse and her shy delight at having held his hand.<p>

Then, Toadsworth appeared at the top of the stairs, gesturing impatiently for them to come inside. "I declare, what took you so long?" he muttered, once they had paused outside the doors to the great hall and Daisy was frantically readjusting Peach's train again. Peach looked at him blankly. "Oh, never mind," he cried in frustration. "It's time to go." Peach slipped her arm through his, the doors were thrown open, and they swept through to rousing music by the Royal Bean Band. Band, all was bright lights and flowers, so much so that, for a moment, the princess's eyes were dazzled. Not that it mattered, her feet kept plodding steadily over the thick carpet without the aid of her eyes. Even after they came back into focus, nothing really registered. It was another way of looking without seeing.

Vague green shapes marched by on either side which must be the ranks of the nation's nobles, broken up here and there by the bright colors of those toads lucky enough to attend. At the far end of the long corridor down which she was to walk she could see a particularly large green blob, probably Queen Bean. And beyond her, alone in the center of the aisle, was a dazzling flash of gold. Suddenly, peach's vision came back into focus and, with horrible clarity, she beheld Prince Peasley waiting for her. Hair blindingly bright, he gave her a perfect model wave, grinning at his accomplishment. Peach began to feel positively ill, her fingers digging into her bouquet so that they threaten to crush it.

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><p>"We're almost there," Iggy called from the cockpit. "I'm starting the decent now."<p>

"Good," snarled Bowser. "It's about time." Even as he spoke, he shuddered as the shrill screams pierced the air yet again. Ludwig had spent the flight trying to put the finishing details on the extremely in-depth battle plans he'd worked up and, whenever it became too difficult to concentrate, whether because of Wendy's primping or because of Roy loudly declaring that real koopas, like himself, didn't need battle plans, he would start blasting everything in sight with fireballs which only made the others more unruly. Compared to dealing with his children, the upcoming battle seemed almost like a vacation. Then the radio came on and Kamek, who was is in command of the second ship reported in with an update on his position at which point Iggy slamed shut the door of the cockpit so that he could actually hear the radio. Soon after, the ship took a sharp lurch to the side, twisting Bower's stomach into a knot and making him worry about the in-flight meal he had eaten a couple hours before. It wasn't that he was unused to air travel, the Klown Kar was frequently a much rougher ride than this, but he felt much safer when he was the one doing the driving. The cruiser lurched again and he could feel it sinking.

"To battle stations," cried Roy, leaping onto his chair and waving his hands around.

"You fool," hissed Ludwig. "Always remain seated until the aircraft has come to a complete stop." And then it did stop, not very hard but with enough of a bump that Roy fell out of his chair and landed on his back, where he lay kicking his feet and rocking on his shell until one of his siblings grudgingly helped him turn back over. In the meantime Bowser had already left the room and was overseeing the marshaling of the troops gathered in the hold of the cruiser. At last, they were ready to move. The doors of the ship slid open and Bowser found himself looking across the main square at the doors of Queen Bean's palace. Then, turning back to the forces gathered behind him, he gave the signal to attack.

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><p>"I can't do this," gasped Peach, her head spinning dizzily. She felt like she was going to faint and, while that would be embarrassing as she hadn't fainted in years, part of her welcomed it as a form of escape.<p>

"Oh yes you can, my little Peach Blossom," Toadsworth whispered intensely, taking a firmer grip on her arm. "I have faith in you."

The ground seemed to drop from under Peach. Had she spoken out loud without realizing it? Then Peasley, apparently impatient with the delay, beckoned her foreword, and she knew she was now well over the brink of panic. "No, no I can't," she cried more loudly, pulling her arm free of Toadsworth's. The great hall was completely silent, the breathing of the crowds like the ebb and flow of the sea tide, and the eyes pinned her down like a captured butterfly. She had to say something. "I am already married," she cried.


End file.
